Here is where my writing world lies. Here is where my writing waits...for all to see. Enjoy.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Happy Holidays Everyone
I like free stuff. Especially during the holiday season. In the spirit of Christmas, I'm offering the ebook version of my novel Second Chance for FREE on Amazon.com Monday, December 24 to Tuesday, December 25. I only ask that you leave a review for my book. Thank you and have a wonderful Holiday!!
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Trying Something...
As of today, Second Chance is no longer available on Barnes and Noble. I'm trying something new-- enlisting my book on Amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) select program for the next three months. In order to do this, I must make my ebook available exclusively through Amazon. I have been taking Second Chance off other ebook stores so if you don't see it for your reading device, I apologize. After three months, I'll see how things go. Please check back here for updates or visit my Facebook page: Novelist Ong Xiong.
Second Chance is also available in paperback on:
Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/Second-Chance-Ong-Xiong/dp/1480250325/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1354654757&sr=8-2&keywords=ong+xiong
and
Createspace.com: https://www.createspace.com/3959566
I apologize for any inconvenience.
Ong
Second Chance is also available in paperback on:
Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/Second-Chance-Ong-Xiong/dp/1480250325/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1354654757&sr=8-2&keywords=ong+xiong
and
Createspace.com: https://www.createspace.com/3959566
I apologize for any inconvenience.
Ong
Sunday, December 2, 2012
More Mistakes I've Made...
And more things I've learned.
1. I've learned publishing is a b****! Yes, it's very exciting. When I saw my book available on Barnes and Noble and Amazon, I jumped up and down, screeching like a craze woman--at work. I love it. Don't get me wrong, I'm doing this because I love it. I get to see my work on ebookstores and I'm ecstatic.
But self-publishing is hard and lonely at times. If writing was a lonely endeavor, self-publishing is its evil twin. I get to meet new people and I've learned so much. But if you are not used to meeting new people and meeting new people make you feel awkward, well, tough sh*t. Networking is key. Talking to people is a must. It is no longer a solo endeavor. You have editors, designers, publishers, distributors, buyers--it's a business. I'm still learning how to communicate effectively.
2. DO NOT edit when you are under the influence of sleep deprivation You never know what you're going to discover in the morning. Yep. I did this. I laugh now but it wasn't so funny when I approved my book for publication only to discover I wrote one word and meant another. Yeah. Not too bright. After discovering my error and hyperventilating with my poor husband all concerned, I decided to turn it into a contest and post it on my Facebook. If you are curious, check out my Facebook page: Novelist Ong Xiong.
3. Ahhh, talking about editing in Zombie mode--it doesn't hurt to contact your editor again and have someone else take a fresh look at your work. Sometimes, I feel like throwing my computer across the room and yell all sorts of mean things at it. It's not my computer's fault I meant "inconvenient" instead of "incontinent."
4. Take a break. That's what I need to do. I'm so stressed with getting my book to print and promotions that I can't think straight. I open up my file to work on my next story and I have no idea how to continue. I need a break--go back to doing what I love to do and take a break for a few weeks. Perhaps it'll help me get back on track. Well see. This is one of those things I know I must do, I need to do and am too stubborn to do. But, I am awake enough to realize I need to do this. So if you don't see a post for a few weeks, I'm taking a break.
5. Be nice to your significant other. After all is said and done, after reviews and sales reports, after publishing and celebrations, your significant other is the one who will tell you your story is good and your work is well worth it. It's one thing to have positive affirmations, to believe in yourself and your dreams. It is another to be able to cry in someone's arms and let them baby you. Sometimes, you just need that comfort to get you back on your feet so that you can battle another day.
6. Writing. Aside from the technical aspects--you know, grammar and all--I've learned writing is subjective. How you write, what you say, how you say it, is so you. I've had people tell me they can picture me telling them the story. Well, yeah. I know. It should. I'm the person who wrote it. I'm telling the story. You are going to hear me throughout the story because it is my writing. What I don't want is all my characters to be the same or have them speak the same. I want to bring life to the characters in the story, give them a language of their own, let them tell you their story through me. After my sister read the first draft of my second novel, she commented that the female protagonists was similar to Sue from Second Chance. Yikes. Back to the drawing board and lets take care of that! Leave me constructive criticism. I'm always willing to listen.
7. I've learned writing is a journey and it doesn't stop when you publish. When I started writing, seriously writing, to finish my manuscript, I didn't think I would be here, blogging about my self-published novel or my writing. There are so many outlets out there to get your work out to people that you no longer have to wait for others to give you the green light. Take charge of your journey. I'll check back in a year and write how this journey is going for me. In the mean time, write.
I think that's good for now. More mistakes to come, I'm sure. More leaning, too, I'm sure. Until next time, read a good book. I got my iBooks back on my phone so I can finally finish the book I started months ago. Good reading all!
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Second Chance is available in PRINT
Phew! Finally! After more editing, formatting, designing, reformatting, and some more head-breaking editing, Second Chance is available in paperback on Amazon.com and CreateSpace.com for $12.95.
This project has been fun, exciting, frustrating, stressful, and the source of my current distress. In the end, I can hold onto my proof and smile proudly.
This project has been fun, exciting, frustrating, stressful, and the source of my current distress. In the end, I can hold onto my proof and smile proudly.
I am a proud mamma of four, LOL.
For ordering:
Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/Second-Chance-Ong-Xiong/dp/1480250325/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1353682236&sr=8-2&keywords=ong+xiong
CreateSpace.com: https://www.createspace.com/3959566
Until next time, good reading!
CreateSpace.com: https://www.createspace.com/3959566
Until next time, good reading!
Deal extended
Second Chance is still being offered for $.99 on Amazon and Barnes and Noble until Monday, December 3, 2012!
Please help me spread the word.
Please help me spread the word.
KDP Select
Hello, everyone. I've decided to try KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) Select, a program which I must give exclusive rights to Amazon for 3 months to sell my ebooks. As of Tuesday, November 27, 2012, Second Chance will no longer be available for purchase on Smashwords.com. Second Chance will no longer be available on Diesel, Kobo, Sony, Apple, and other ebookstores through Smashwords. It will still be available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble until December 3, 2012. After that, it will only be available on Amazon.com. The paperback version will still be available for purchase on Amazon.com and Createspace.com.
Confusing? I know. I'm still navigating through all the self-publishing venues and testing out times and pricing. Thanks for all the support. I really appreciate it!
Confusing? I know. I'm still navigating through all the self-publishing venues and testing out times and pricing. Thanks for all the support. I really appreciate it!
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Working Progress...Still
Phew. Now that I'm done with Second Chance, time to move onto the next story. Here's what I have also been working on. I haven't decided on a title yet, so for now, I've been calling it Nouly and Phillip. They are the characters in my next story. I've posted the first chapter, here's the second chapter from Phil's perspective. Again, it's a working progress. Much can change, plus, I still need to send it to my editors.
Sample from Nouly and Phillip
Chapter 2: Nouly
He
had arrived before she did and waited for her. He wasn’t sure at first if she
was whom he had been waiting for. But no other person waited as anxiously as
she had, so he assumed she was Ms. N. Yang.
He
had watched her. A skinny girl with big eyes clutching her backpack like a life
line. She had hair down to her shoulders that swayed every time she turned. Though
her clothing left little to be desired, she was … pretty. He internally
groaned. The last thing he needed was a shallow, pretty woman to bat her pretty little eyes, acting like a helpless
damsel in need of a fricking knight in fricking armor.
He
mentally cataloged her clothing. She wore a worn sweater over a plain gray
T-shirt, blue jeans and a pair of serviceable shoes. Except for a gold chain
around her neck, she wore no other jewelry. Her shabby looking backpack seemed
to be name brand, though he couldn't tell from the ragged appearance. It’s a
wonder the straps were still intact. Okay,
she’s not a Pearl after all.
He
took in her image again. What had he expected when he answered her Ad? He wasn't sure what he had expected. He wasn't even sure why he was where he was,
watching a girl whom he has never met before, clutching her back pack with him
wondering why her clothing even mattered to him. She looked anxious and
fearful. Nervous, too. She paused and bit her lower lip in eager anticipation,
he hoped, for his arrival.
She
looked much younger than the woman he had expected though.
She
checked her watch for the eighth time; bit her lower lip for the ninth time
then she muttered something. He glanced at his watch. Five minutes left till
their meeting time.
She
turned and paced away from him. He got up, grabbed his bag and approached her.
She turned and walked right into him.
“I’m
so sorry,” she said.
“You
must be Miss Yang?” Phil asked.
She
backed up and raised big brown eyes to meet his own. “I’m sorry, do I know
you?”
“Not
yet.” He smiled.
She didn't recognize him. What made him think
she would? They have never met. For an instant, her eyes lit up and he thought,
like a foolish man, she recognized him after all. To his chagrin, her eyes were
for someone behind him. He watched her expression turned to mortification when
the Phillip Hamilton she waited for walked passed her.
He
watched her retreat in defeat and forlornly resumed her pacing. Then she
stopped. “Phillip…Hamilton?” she asked hesitantly.
“Phil,
please,” he said and proffered his right hand.
She
slightly cocked her head and scowled at him. Gone was the innocent girl,
replaced by intense eyes that could see straight to his soul, he thought. “Am I
being punked?” she asked.
What? His smile disappeared. “No…”
The
grief in her face was like a punch to his gut. She excused herself from him and
he could hear her unsteady voice. He watched her walk away from him. She gave
him the perfect opportunity to walk away from this prank. It had gone far
enough. Yet, he couldn't take his eyes off the desperate girl who seemed so
lost.
She
wiped her cheeks. An announcement was made and she took out the tickets.
Ah, what the heck. He’d gone this far. He had answered her Ad on Craigslist.
He had accepted her offer to help her with her trip to Thailand…and possibly
Laos. If he were to walk away now, he would always think of the forlorn girl
with big eyes and wondered what happened to her. He cursed himself enough to
shame his father, made up his mind and approached her.
“One
for me?” he asked in what he had hoped for a cherry voice but perhaps, it came
out more curtly than planned.
“Look,
Phillip Hamilton. You can tell Pa about my humiliation. Hell, tell her I cried
my eyes out. Frankly, I don’t give a damn. Laugh it out with her, or whoever. I
have a flight to catch.”
“Look,
Miss Yang. I came here for a job. If you
are punking me, I want the money you promised and the reimbursement for my
ticket here.”
Harsh. But he figured being nice was not going to get him anywhere with her.
As
he guessed, she stopped. He could see she was fighting some internal battle
before she turned back to him. “I believe I emailed stating I’ll pay when the
job is completed,” she said.
Phillip
nodded. She handed him his ticket. “Are we going to have a problem?” he asked
her.
“No…no
problem,” she replied with coolness.
“Are
you sure? Because I don’t have any patience for tears.”
Her
hand immediately went to her cheek and he felt just a tinge of guilt at seeing
her demeanor instantly changed. She let her hand fell as she let out a breath
of relief. “Don’t worry, Phillip,” she said. “I promise the tears you saw are
the last you’d ever see.”
He
had a feeling she was trying to assure herself more than him. “Good, and
please, call me Phil.”
Perhaps Michael was right after all, Phil thought. Perhaps, just perhaps, this was the
distraction he needed. The vacation he needed. He needed to start somewhere and
this, if not conventional therapy, would certainly be something better than
wallowing at home. (End of Sample)
If you have any suggestions for me, please leave me a comment. Until next time, good writing!
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Thanksgiving Deal
In celebration of Thanksgiving, I am offering my novel, Second Chance for $0.99 on Barnes and Noble and Amazon.com. It is FREE on Smashwords.com, until Monday November 26, 2012. Please rate my book, leave me a review, and/or like my Facebook page.
Thanks and Happy Thanksgiving!
Good reading!
Thursday, November 8, 2012
I am on Hmong Pages!
I am on Hmong Pages!
Check out the article at: http://www.hmongpages.com/index.php/spot-light/16-spot-light/299-ong-xiong-published-e-book-novelist-of-second-chance
I am ecstatic!
A correction though, my husband's name is Dang Thao. He was the one who connected me with Elizabeth Thao of Hmong Pages. I am very thankful. This is my first press!
A correction though, my husband's name is Dang Thao. He was the one who connected me with Elizabeth Thao of Hmong Pages. I am very thankful. This is my first press!
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Second Chance is on Kobo!
Second Chance is now available on Kobo!
Also, Second Chance is coming soon in print. Here's what the cover will look like:
Also, Second Chance is coming soon in print. Here's what the cover will look like:
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Work in Progress—My Next Novel
After
finishing Second Chance, I began writing my second novel, or rather,
another story. I have been working on a story for a long time. Long before Second
Chance even existed about Kazu and June (I am still working on this
story). I used the summary for their story in Second Chance to describe
one of Jae’s Korean drama series, Sweet
Lullaby.
I
keep a composition book which I write all sorts of things in it, including story
ideas, quotes, and inspirations from everyday events. However mundane my day
could be, my mind would be reeling with ideas. It is especially uneventful days
which allow me to day dream. Having an available book to capture all those
thoughts can come in handy for later when I can sit down to write.
My handy book |
One
of the best advice I remember (I don’t remember where I got the advice from) is
to just write. Write whatever comes to mind then edit later. This works well
because whatever I don’t use for one story, I can use for another story.
And I don’t delete anything I cut from my story. I keep them in a separate file
of “extras” in case I need it again or I change my mind on the change.
Not
only do I reuse some of the ideas I originally have, I recycle them. Romance is:
girl meets boy, they fall in love, things got in the way, they either lived
happily ever after or they don’t. This story is recycled over and over in the
stories we read today. With that said, I never get tire of the variations I have read and the creativity authors have devised are phenomenal!
For example:
Original:
“Damn you! Damn you to hell! We didn't fit,” she hissed. “Now we do? Nine years ago you asked me to be your wife and now you’re asking me to be your whore? For a week? Not even a lifetime?” All her energy drained and she looked at him warily. She opened her mouth to say more but all that came to mind was words she couldn't bring herself to say. Every unflattering name in the world, every curse and cuss she knew—it was pointless. “What you’re offering is not enough. Not enough to heal the hurt or take away the pain…” She trailed off. “Go home, Jae.”
“Damn you! Damn you to hell! We didn't fit,” she hissed. “Now we do? Nine years ago you asked me to be your wife and now you’re asking me to be your whore? For a week? Not even a lifetime?” All her energy drained and she looked at him warily. She opened her mouth to say more but all that came to mind was words she couldn't bring herself to say. Every unflattering name in the world, every curse and cuss she knew—it was pointless. “What you’re offering is not enough. Not enough to heal the hurt or take away the pain…” She trailed off. “Go home, Jae.”
Final:
“We didn't fit,” she hissed. “Now you want a week of my time? Years ago, you asked me to be your wife and now you’re asking me to be your whore? For a week?” She smirked bitterly. “What you’re offering is not enough. Not enough to heal the hurt or take away the pain.” She trail off. “Go home, Jae. We don’t fit. So don’t make this any harder than it has to be. We said goodbye … good luck, to each other years ago.” All her energy drained and she looked at him wearily. “I was getting so good at living. Why do you have to remind me of what I lost?”
“We didn't fit,” she hissed. “Now you want a week of my time? Years ago, you asked me to be your wife and now you’re asking me to be your whore? For a week?” She smirked bitterly. “What you’re offering is not enough. Not enough to heal the hurt or take away the pain.” She trail off. “Go home, Jae. We don’t fit. So don’t make this any harder than it has to be. We said goodbye … good luck, to each other years ago.” All her energy drained and she looked at him wearily. “I was getting so good at living. Why do you have to remind me of what I lost?”
Damn you! Damn you to hell!
was cut from the
final version because I found use for it in another story:
"Damn you. Damn you, Phillip Hamilton! What are you expecting? That I'll say I love you, too... And we'll go into the sunset and live happily ever after? Well, screw you!" She wiped her tears. "What...what am I suppose to..."
Here's what I've been working on. It's a rough draft.
Part I
Remember, it's a rough draft so lots could change by the time I publish. It's time to shop for another cover and a title!
"Damn you. Damn you, Phillip Hamilton! What are you expecting? That I'll say I love you, too... And we'll go into the sunset and live happily ever after? Well, screw you!" She wiped her tears. "What...what am I suppose to..."
Here's what I've been working on. It's a rough draft.
Part I
Chapter 1: Phillip
Nouly
Yang glanced at her watch. Ten more minutes. Just ten more minutes and she
would meet Phillip Hamilton. Has it only been a week since she contacted him? Fifteen
years since her mother’s death. Three weeks since she decided to go on this
journey and ten more minutes to wait. Time was ticking.
Out
of desperation, she had posted an advertisement requesting for an escort into
the heart of Thailand and Laos. On Craigslist of all places.
Nouly
clenched her backpack. She paced back and forth outside of French Meadow café
at the Minneapolis/St. Paul international airport, biting every part of her
lips. She checked her watch, did a quick 180 degrees survey, hoping he was the
early type, but she saw no one. She returned to biting her lips and hugged her
backpack tighter, mumbling the reason for this ridiculous journey. She
corrected herself. Not a ridiculous journey; it’s a ridiculously dangerous
journey. She prayed Phillip Hamilton wasn’t some psychotic murdering maniac. He
was the only person who responded. The only one who accepted her offer of five-thousand
dollars for the job.
Nouly
glanced at her watch, again. She smiled at the stars in her watch. They
scattered and collected at 6 o’clock. Five more minutes. She turned around and
ran straight into some man.
“I’m
so sorry,” Nouly said.
“You
must be Miss Yang?” the man said.
She
backed up to look up at the man. A handsome Asian man stared down at her. “I’m
sorry, do I know you?”
“Not
yet.” He smiled.
Nouly
saw a muscular white man walking her way and excused herself from the handsome
stranger. She smiled and waited to greet Phillip Hamilton. The man walked
passed her without a backward glance. Her smile slowly faded as the man
continued to walk away. He didn’t look like he was looking for anyone. Her
hopes faded as the man greeted another. She let her shoulders drop as she
glanced at her watch again.
“Please
don’t be late. Please don’t be late,” she mumbled to herself. She turned to
continue her pacing and found the handsome stranger watching her. She stopped.
He knew her name.
“Phillip…Hamilton?”
she asked, hesitant.
“Phil,
please,” the handsome stranger said, extending his right hand for a shake.
She
slightly cocked her head, scowling. “Am I being punked?”
“No…”
Her
eyes stung. “Excuse me,” she muttered and side stepped around him to walk away.
Damn Pa! The only person she told of
her endeavor and look how it back fired. Never trust them. Never, ever trust
them.
She
should have learned by now. She should have never said a word. Even if it meant
disappearing from earth and no one would know.They wouldn’t care anyway.
She
sat at her gate and squeezed her backpack. She would go with or without help.
It would just be harder. She stopped strangling her backpack to wipe her
cheeks. Boarding for her flight was announced and she took a shuddering breath
as she struggled to take out the tickets.
“One
for me?”
“Look.
Phillip Hamilton. You can tell Pa about my humiliation. Hell, tell her I cried
my eyes out. Frankly, I don’t give a damn. Laugh it out with her, or whoever. I
have a flight to catch.”
“Look.
Miss Yang. I came here for a job. If you
are punking me, I want the money you promised and the reimbursement for my
ticket here.”
Nouly
stopped in her track. Once she was able to compose herself, she turned to face
Phillip. She stared at him until she heard another announcement for boarding.
She bit her lower lip and scrutinized him a minute or two longer.
Phillip
Hamilton did not look like a Phillip Hamilton. She had pictured him to be Caucasian
at least. The man in front of her was not what she had pictured. He was Asian.
Thai? His emails said he was fluent in Thai and Laotian. But he could also be
Chinese? Japanese? The list goes on. It didn't matter to her. Only that she now felt foolish. She
sighed and decided what the heck. “I believe I emailed stating I’ll pay when
the job is done,” she said.
Phillip
nodded.
“In
that case, here’s your ticket.”
“Are
we going to have a problem?”
“No,
no problem.”
“Are
you sure? Because I don’t have any patience for tears.”
Nouly
reflexively brought a hand to her cheek, ready to wipe away the anguish that
had inflicted her for only God knows how long. Had more tears fell with her not
knowing? Was she still crying? To her great relief, it was not so. She let her
hand fell. “Don’t worry, Phillip. I promise the tears you saw are the last
you’d ever see.”
“Good and, please, call me Phil.”
Nouly
nodded and said no more as they boarded their flight to Thailand. (End of excerpt)
Remember, it's a rough draft so lots could change by the time I publish. It's time to shop for another cover and a title!
Monday, October 22, 2012
Second Chance
Excerpt from Second Chance:
“You little flirt!” Jae trapped her
between the door and himself. “I was informed you have a thing for Korean men.” His voice lowered seductively. “I naturally
assumed you would get bored and move on to flirting with…” He placed a hand on
her right thigh and moved his lips to her ear, “…other men.” He nipped her ear
lobe as his hand moved up her silky thigh, caressing her. “How many have there
been since me? Looks like you have been practicing by the way you’ve just
kissed me,” he said, placing kisses along her neck.
Sue’s hands clenched into fist as
he spoke.
Practicing?
Whore. Slut. Did he think that of her, too? She hadn’t let any man touch
her besides handshakes. Anytime anyone went too far, she reacted as if she’d
been scorched. Stiff, she’d been
called. She could tolerate insinuations from others, but not from the man whom
she had given herself to so freely. Stupid,
stupid girl.
All these years and the slightest
touch from him still made her knees weak. One kiss and she submissively
surrendered her body to his groping. Slut.
Whore. Shame, shame, shame.
“You arrogant—” she bellowed,
pushing his hand away from her and kicking him in the shin. He stepped back and
gave an obscenity. “Insufferable—” she punched him, aiming for his jaw but got
his shoulder, “—excuse for a man! How dare you!” she roared. Her chest
tightened, her throat burned and she fought back the tears taking another swing
at him, hitting him in the jaw before he caught her hands. She pulled her hands
free and went for the door. She shouldn’t have let her guard down. Stupid girl.
Pain radiated from her right ankle
and she cried out in pain as his strong arms took hold of her waist, turning
her to face him one brief second before hoisting her onto his shoulder. He
carried her like a sack of rice toward the bedroom. “Let go of me!” she
screamed. She let out another cry of pain as he took hold of her ankles to stop
her from kicking him. “You’re hurting me!” she cried out louder. Her ankles
throbbed from the pressure of his grip. She reached for his bottom and pinched
him as hard as she could.
“Ow!” he bellowed. He released her
ankles and shifted her body in his arms in such a manner that her arms were
pinned to him, restricting their movements.
“Serves you right! Let me go, you
big oaf!” she shouted as loudly as she could in his ear.
Scowling, he tilted his head away
from her. He finally released her by tossing her onto the center of his bed,
ripping her dress strap.
Sue landed on her back, her
strapless bra exposed, and her dress scrunched up, just barely covering her
underwear. Tears she could no longer fight back trickle down the side of her
face, dripping into her ears. “Jerk,” she painfully said in a low, raspy voice.
She wiped her tears and turned away from him, not caring that her underwear was
now fully exposed. She curled onto her side and cried. “God, I hate you,” she
whispered brokenly. (End of Excerpt)
Second Chance is available on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, iBooks, Diesel, Smashwords.com and Sony!
Novelist Ong Xiong
Please go like me on Facebook.
Other updates:
A couple weekends ago, I met with Mai Vang from Hnub Thsiab. I sent an excerpt and the blurb from Second Chance to her. Hopefully, Hnub Thsiab will mention me on their website.
I also met with Elizabeth Thao from Hmong Pages. Hopefully Second Chance will be featured in the November issue of Hmong Pages. Yay!
Lots of hopes!
Other updates:
A couple weekends ago, I met with Mai Vang from Hnub Thsiab. I sent an excerpt and the blurb from Second Chance to her. Hopefully, Hnub Thsiab will mention me on their website.
I also met with Elizabeth Thao from Hmong Pages. Hopefully Second Chance will be featured in the November issue of Hmong Pages. Yay!
Lots of hopes!
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Imagination
My earlier writing experiments:
My World
I am an Angel with wings of gold
I am a Unicorn with magical powers
I am a Fairy dancing in story books
I am Sleeping Beauty waiting for my Prince
I am a Flute that whispers beautiful melodies
I am the wind that cradles you to sleep
I am the tears of my own river
I am Silver Fox out to seek revenge
I am a wild teenage girl getting in trouble
I am a butterfly coming out of my cocoon
I am a girl, a simple girl with imaginations and dreams
I am the universe
I am everything in my own world
Loneliness
From day to night
I sit alone
From here to there
I walk alone
From warmth to cool
From sadness to happiness
From heart break to mending heart
I feel alone
From happy times to heart breaking times
From sunny days to rainy days
From stormy nights to moonlight clear
From boring days to exciting moments
I spend alone
From love to hate
The thing that hurt the most is being lonely
Dream
Above the stars
Across the sea
Against the laws
I tell
Among the angels
On my rooftop
Behind garden walls
Beneath the shadows
Beside my wishes
Between the smiles
I cry
Beyond my imagination
By my will
Down on earth
Inside my heart
Into my dreams
Throughout my life
Since I was born
With heart in place
I fly
Within my dreams
Upon my love
I lie
Within my soul
I pray
Into fantasies
I go
Among fairies
I dance
Until I am awaken
By my alarm clock
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
The Mistakes I’ve Made
And The Things I've Learned
On my journey to becoming a romance novelist, I’ve made some mistakes along the way, but I’ve also learned a lot. Here are some mistakes that I can clearly remember and some things I’ve learned that hopefully will make my next project less stressful (hopefully yours as well):
On my journey to becoming a romance novelist, I’ve made some mistakes along the way, but I’ve also learned a lot. Here are some mistakes that I can clearly remember and some things I’ve learned that hopefully will make my next project less stressful (hopefully yours as well):
1. Spell check, spell check, spell check! If you are querying, don’t misspell words. If you are rolling your eyes and mentally saying, “duh”, I agree. You will see this advice in books, hear it from agents, publishing houses, everywhere. It’s so obvious; I had to add it here. The very first letter I sent to an agent, I wrote “docter” instead of "doctor" in my email. Oops.
2. Back to that pesky grammars thing. In my eagerness to publish, I overlooked some things. Though I've spent months editing, there were still errors that are so obvious, I still ask myself how I didn’t spot them.
3. Be prepare to read your manuscript until you are so tired of it, you wonder why you stayed up till three in the morning working on something that might not even see the light of publishing. That was where the discouragement came from. That was where some of my frustrations came from. What I learned from this was that when you are ready to publish, whether through the traditional route or through self-publishing, you will have a satisfying manuscript.
4. If you decide to self-publish, you’ll need a cover. I started with looking for an illustrator and a graphic designer. I searched online, posted my project online, used resources available to me and I ended up spending precious time and money looking for something that some websites like theauthorsredroom.com can offer for a fraction of what a graphic designer will charge all together. Some graphic designers were asking between $300 and $500. After a couple of weeks and $50 already spent on an illustration I couldn’t use without a graphic designer, I found my cover for $80. If you are willing to settle for premade covers, it will be even cheaper. If you can do it yourself, kudos to you.
5. Editors. Will you need one? Do you want one? Chances are, you will need one. Most book editors will charge by the word count, i.e. ±$0.075 per word (just throwing a number in here). If you have a full-length manuscript, your manuscript will be more than 50-thousand words. You do the math. So far, the cheapest I've found online is theauthorsredroom.com. They charge by the page instead of by word. And once you have your edited manuscript, it doesn't hurt to read it through again. This was another one of my oops.
6. Publishing. Be careful. There are several self-publishing outlets and most will charge you money. If you have the funds, you can use services like CreateSpace by Amazon. They can put your whole project together, including making your book available for print-on-demand (POD) with a customize cover for a fee. Do some research and do some comparison. The cheapest package offered me was through Amazon.
There are great resources at the library as well so check your local libraries for Literary Market Place and such books. If you have some advice for me, please do comment. I'm always searching for ways to make this journey a little less hectic.
Just a reminder: Second Chance is available as an e-book through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBooks and Smashwords. Check it out.
Just a reminder: Second Chance is available as an e-book through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBooks and Smashwords. Check it out.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Second Chance is on Apple iBooks
Second Chance is now available on iBooks!
I apologize I do not have a link. If interested, you can search for "Second Chance by Ong Xiong" and my book will come up on your iBookstore.
Here's some more from Second Chance:
Chapter 5
Three days had passed since her
exciting first day in New York. Michael was picking her up for dinner. They
were heading to Shinobu New York and would be meeting Katie and Patrick at the
restaurant. After that first day with Michael and Lily, Sue had spent the next
2 days resting, unpacking, spending time with Tony, and exploring the
neighborhood. The night before, Michael had stopped by with an array of fruits
and crackers. They had made fondue with the giant Hershey’s candy bar and spent
the evening at the townhouse. Michael spent time in his office, working. Sue
spent time with him in his office, reading.
This morning, Michael had invited
her to lunch, but she had declined. She wanted to go to the American Museum of
Natural History and didn’t think he was interested. She spent most of her day
there, taking her time to explore all their exhibits.
Tonight, she was heading into the
heart of the city and was deciding what to wear. “No scrubs. No sweats,” Katie
had ordered so the only sweats she packed were the ones she wore during her
travel. Looking through her luggage, she picked a knee-length,
spaghetti-strapped, royal blue chiffon dress to wear for dinner. She wore her
hair down. The last time she had done that was many years ago. She picked a
silver bangle, which she slipped onto her left wrist, then decided that the
silver-strapped heels would look best with her outfit. It hadn’t snowed and the
walk ways were clear so the heels would be safe to wear. Besides, she wanted to
wear something nice and heels made her feel … sexy.
Sue threw her head back in laughter
when she saw Michael. “We match,” she explained when he looked confused. He
wore a white dress shirt, a blue and gray striped tie, dark navy slacks with a
matching blazer and shiny loafers. His hair was conservatively cut and combed,
making him look like a Tommy Hilfiger model she saw on billboards.
They had reservations but there was
a private party being held at the restaurant, and they had to wait for their
table. While they waited, they heard other patrons whispering that the
restaurant owner/chef Shinobu Matshu was present, personally catering to an
important client.
“Who do you think is here for the
chef to be in New York?” Michael asked Sue.
“Don’t know,” Sue replied. “Maybe,
Ms. O?”
“Ms. O? Hmm, maybe we’ll get to
meet her. Are you a fan?”
“Somewhat.”
“Either you are or you aren’t.”
“Well, since I only have two
choices, I’ll go with are.”
“Up tight are we?”
“Just hungry,” she replied. “Feed
me and I shall be content,” she added with a sweet smile.
“Is that a way to a woman’s heart
then? Through her stomach?”
“Why yes, Michael,” Sue replied,
bringing her hands to her chest in a mock display of utter surprise. “Feed her
food and you will find that a woman can be quite placid and agreeable.”
“I thought a diamond was a way to a
woman’s heart and food was a way to a man’s heart? Was I wrong then?”
“A diamond is a woman’s best
friend. Food, especially chocolate, is a way to a woman’s heart. Whoever told
you that it was only to a man’s heart told you only half the truth, I’m
afraid.”
“I see. And you are an expert in
this observation?”
“I’m a woman, aren’t I?”
“Somewhat.”
“Either I am or I’m not.”
“Well, since I only have two
choices, I’ll pick the safer answer and say am,” Michael replied grinning.
“Happy now?”
“Once I’m fed, yes.” She grinned.
“Did I reach your heart with that
giant candy bar then?” he teased.
“Straight to the heart…all five
pounds worth.”
“What did we miss?” Katie asked as
she and Patrick approached the laughing, handsome couple.
“Hey, Mike. Sue.” Patrick waved.
Michael acknowledged the greeting
with a nod. “Food is a way to a woman’s heart,” Michael answered Katie with a
grin as his gaze reverted back to Sue. Michael gave Sue a conspiring wink. Sue
smiled.
“Who told you that?” Katie asked
Michael.
“I did,” Sue answered. Patrick
grinned as he greeted her with a hug and a kiss on her cheek.
“Ignore her, Michael. Diamonds will
get you there faster.” Katie handed Patrick her purse and she took off her
coat. “And chocolate,” she added. “Hi hon. Glad to see you out of scrubs.” She
hugged Sue.
“Really?” Patrick asked. He turned
to Katie. “Is that why you agreed to marry me?”
“Of course. Why sweetheart, when
you presented me with this engagement ring, I had to say yes,” Katie answered,
holding out her left hand for Sue. “See why I agreed?” On her forefinger was a
three-carat, princess cut, canary diamond ring set in platinum.
“Yes, I see,” Sue said. She turned
to Michael, “Diamonds are another way to a woman’s heart.” She laughed.
“Especially one like this. Although, you know, Patrick, chocolate could have
done the job. You didn’t need the ring.”
They were laughing when their
waiter approached to announce their table was ready. He showed them to their
table and apologized for their wait. He also pointed to a screen and explained
that the private party was larger than expected and screens were placed close
to their table. He apologized for any inconvenience while he handed them their
menus, then took their drink orders.
Everyone ordered sake except for
Sue. Sue was seated across from Michael while Katie and Patrick sat across each
other.
“So, tell me Sue. You don’t smoke.
You don’t drink, and you don’t have casual sex. So… what do you do for fun?”
Michael asked, placing his menu on the table.
Patrick and Katie exchanged looks
then turned their heads to Sue, waiting for her reaction.
“Well, Michael, first of all I
don’t have to smoke or drink to enjoy life,” she replied. “Secondly, how do you
know I don’t have casual sex, which,”
she said with emphasis, “is none of your business and lastly, I read for fun.”
“Really?” Michael replied, leaning
toward her. “And what do you read?” he asked.
“Comics,” she replied in a
mater-of-fact tone. Michael laughed.
Katie and Patrick looked at each
other again. Grinning, they returned their attention to their menus.
“You’re lying again, aren’t you?”
Michael asked Sue.
“Lying? Again?”
“There is no such country called
Hmong.”
“I could have told you that.”
“But you told me Hmong was a
country between China and Mongolia.”
Sue shrugged. “Had you asked me if
Hmong was a country, I’m pretty confident I would have told you the truth.”
“Pretty confident? You suffering
from chronic lying?”
“I’m afraid so. T’is an affliction
I suffer from since meeting you. Don’t worry though, it’s not contagious.”
“Is there a cure to, ah, this
affliction of yours?” Michael asked grinning.
“I’m afraid not.”
“Surely there must be treatments to
ease my discomfort?”
“There is actually,” she said
smiling sweetly.
“Oh? And what might that be,
doctor?”
“Ask me no questions and I’ll tell
you no lies,” she quoted, still smiling.
“Touché,” Michael said as he leaned
back into his chair. “Touché.”
While this conversation was going
on between Sue and Michael, Katie and Patrick watched in amazement. No woman
had ever talked to Michael this casually, and Katie was still surprised to find
her friend flirting. Although Sue and Michael kept their tone formal and
businesslike, as if they were discussing an actual disease, they were smiling
and relaxed the whole time. Katie and Patrick exchanged more looks, not that
Sue or Michael noticed.
The rest of the evening passed
pleasantly with conversations of wedding plans.
“Michael, will you remember me in a
week?” Sue asked unceremoniously as they finished their dinner.
“Yes,” he said, sipping his sake.
“Will you remember me in a month?”
“Yes,” he said, placing his sake on
the table.
“Will you remember me in a year?”
“Yes,” he said, wondering where she
was heading with these questions.
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?” he answered
automatically without thinking.
“So much for remembering me,” Sue
said solemnly. Then she burst into laughter at the look of disbelief on
Michael’s face. Michael’s lips slowly formed a lazy grin then his shoulders
shook with laughter.
Katie laughed and Patrick choked on
his sake. Some sake from Katie’s cup splattered onto Sue’s white cardigan and
her dress. Katie apologized and handed napkins to Sue at the same time Michael
handed his napkin to Sue. Sue automatically took the napkin from Katie. She
didn’t notice Michael’s gesture.
“Did you learn that one from your
comics?” Michael asked as he retreated his hand.
“Of course,” Sue replied, dabbing
the sake from her dress. She was lying. Her niece told her that joke during the
holidays. She didn’t read comics either. For some reason, she had just blurted
it out. She was turning into a chronic liar like Michael said.
Michael laughed. “What else did you
learn from your comics?”
“I did learn some poetry as well.
Would you like to hear some?”
“Yes,” Michael said.
“No,” Katie and Patrick said at the
same time.
Sue grinned. “I do have to
apologize, Michael. I must obey the bride.” Placing the napkin on the table,
she leaned toward Michael and shielded her mouth with her hand. “Bridezilla,”
she whispered as if that explained it all. Michael laughed and nodded in
understanding. Patrick gave Michael a warning look while Sue laughed some more.
“Don’t listen to her Michael,”
Katie said grabbing Patrick’s hand from across the table. “Honey, tell him I’m
not.”
“She’s not,” Patrick said with a
grin.
“Thanks honey,” Katie said.
Still grinning, Sue excused herself
to use the ladies room. As soon as she was out of hearing range, Patrick turned
to Michael.
“What do you think of her, huh?”
Patrick asked.
“She’s stunning. I’ve not met a
woman that could make me laugh so much in one day,” Michael replied.
“Michael, don’t pursue her if
you’re not serious,” Katie warned. “I don’t want to see her hurt again and if
you hurt her you’ll never hear the end of it from me. Got that?”
“Hurt again? What are you talking
about?” Michael asked.
“Well, I can’t say. She’ll tell you
when she’s ready,” Katie said. “I’m warning you.” She pointed her index finger
at Michael. “I only agreed to allow this because I know you’re a great guy so
don’t hurt her.”
“Relax, Kate,” Michael said, his
gaze upon Sue’s empty seat.
In the short time he had come to
know Sue, he was already falling for her. Perhaps it was her cuteness. Maybe it
was the way she was toward him—honest and true. No false laughter. No false
pretenses. She didn’t even want his attention. In fact she had made no attempt
to capture his attention. If anything, she was trying to avoid him. She loved
children and he knew if she were to love him, she would with a fierceness that
would match his. He wanted that kind of love. That unconditional love.
Michael stared at Sue’s empty seat,
thinking that if Sue didn’t come back soon, he would go after her.
Chapter 6
Behind the screen, Khyba’s drink
arrested partway to his lips at the sound of a woman’s laughter. He glanced at
his drink, thinking he must have had more to drink than he thought. He walked
to the screen. “Yes, I see,” the voice said. “Especially one like this.
Although, you know Patrick, chocolate could have…” His eyes followed the sound
of her voice and when his eyes caught sight of the beauty whose voice summoned
him, he smiled.
He called for a waiter and asked a
table be cleared for the four waiting individuals by the door. His eyes
followed her to her seat and stayed on her.
“Going to join your own
celebration, Hyung?” Jackie asked.
“Something more interesting caught your attention?”
No response from Khyba.
“What’s so amusing?” Jackie asked
when Khyba laughed. In the time he had known Khyba, he had never heard him
laugh like this. Curious, he followed Khyba’s gaze. He looked back at Khyba with
amusement then back at the image Khyba was so intently focused on.
Jackie had known Khyba since the
beginning of his career when he was assigned to oversee Khyba’s singing
lessons. The guy could dance, but his singing needed development at the time. Soon,
Khyba became lead singer of Eastern Tides and the group soared to popularity.
Four years ago, Khyba went solo and Jackie followed. Since then, he had never
seen Khyba pay this much attention to any female.
Watching Khyba pay this much
attention to any woman could only mean that he had found her.
“Sorry Jack, change of plans,”
Khyba said, handing his long forgotten drink to Jackie without averting his
eyes. He was afraid she would disappear. “Instruct Ty to prepare the limo.”
Stunned, Jackie watched as Khyba
approached the beautiful woman in a blue dress.
“Ahn-nyung (Hi) Shorty.”
Sue’s body stiffened and her heart
began to race. Was she hallucinating? She must be. He was from another
lifetime, from somewhere on the other side of the planet. No, it can’t be, she
thought as she continued walking toward the bathroom.
“It’s been a long time, Suzy.”
Sue whirled around so quickly she
almost lost her balance. Her eyes widened in surprise, recognizing that bump on
his nose, those brown eyes, and those lips. “Jae?”
“The one and only,” he replied,
still grinning. “How are you, Suzy?”
Sue didn’t reply.
“Looks like you haven’t grown an
inch since the last time we met,” he said.
Silence.
He had anticipated her to be
surprised, maybe even angry. He even hoped she would be happy to see him. But
he hadn’t expected what happened next.
Jae watched the play of emotions in
Sue’s glistening brown eyes. Then, without saying another word to him, she
raised her hand. Thinking she was going to embrace him, he took a step forward
just as her hand made contact, slapping him across his face. She silently
turned and walked away.
Sue walked to the bathroom as
calmly as she could, restraining the urge to break into a run. She didn’t think
she would ever see that man again. The world with him was far away, in another
lifetime she would rather forget. She hated him. He was grinning wily, that
grin that had haunted her for so long and all she wanted was to run into his
arms. She wanted to hurt him, too. In the spur of the moment, she decided he
deserved the latter.
She was still trembling when she
reached the women’s bathroom. Once safely inside, she collapsed against the
door.
Oh
God, I slapped him.
She fought the knot in her throat.
Oh
God, I slapped him.
She went to the sink and looked into
the mirror. An uncertain reflection stared back at her. Her hands were shaking
and she clenched them tightly together to stop the tremor. She took a deep
breath, counted to 10 then stared back at her reflection. Not satisfied with
the expression staring back at her, she took several more deep breaths, then
prayed he would disappear when she left the bathroom. She must leave.
“Sorry I took so long,” Sue
announced when she returned to the table. Her party was ready to leave.
“Something came up and I’m afraid I must call it a night.” She gave Katie an
apologetic look. “Enjoy yourselves and I’ll see you tomorrow evening.” She
turned to Michael and gave him a polite smile. “Thank you for the ride this
evening. Good night,” she said as quickly as she could before he could protest.
She muttered something about grabbing a taxi and for him to not worry.
Before she could turn to walk away,
Michael caught hold of her elbow. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m just not feeling well. I’ll
see you tomorrow,” she replied, trying to free her arm. He wouldn’t let go.
Instead he gently pulled her toward him. Something had happened to scare her.
“Tell me. What’s wrong? You were
just fine moments ago…”
“Please unhand her,” Jae said, his
voice low but threatening.
Michael felt Sue stiffen at the
sound of Jae’s voice. He turned to look at Jae then back at Sue. “Did he hurt
you?” he asked as he nodded toward Jae.
“No,” she answered. Don’t make a scene. Don’t make a scene.
“Michael, this is Jae,” Sue said as
she turned to look at Jae. “Jae, this is Michael.” She smiled as if nothing
happened.
Michael slowly released her arm but
still stood by her protectively. Sue backed away from Michael, bumping into the
table. Remembering Katie and Patrick, she turned to them and smiled. “Katie,
Patrick, this is Jae. Jae, I would like you to meet my best friend Katie King
and her fiancé Patrick Jacobson.”
Jae nodded to acknowledge the
introduction. He wondered why she chose not to introduce his relation to her.
He acknowledged her friends then turned his full attention to her. “Will you
join me tonight?”
“I’m afraid I can’t,” she politely
replied with a smile. “I was just saying goodnight.” She turned to her friends.
“Goodnight everyone.” She turned to Katie, silently communicating she needed to
leave. Katie nodded in understanding.
She walked out of the restaurant so
quickly she forgot her coat and purse.
“I apologize for interrupting your evening. Do
not fret. I will be taking her home,” Jae said courteously and gave a slight
bow to mark his departure.
Michael was about to go after them
but Katie stopped him. “Let her go. She’ll be fine.”
Michael scowled. “Do not fret?
Who’s the schmuck?” Michael asked Katie. “Now’s the time to talk, Kate.”
“Calm down, Mike. There’s no need
to use that tone with Katie,” Patrick commanded sternly.
Katie sighed and told Michael the
relationship between Sue and Jae. Katie did not go into detail, only enough to
explain Sue’s reaction to Jae.
“The man could be a psycho and we
just let her go…with him?” He ran a hand through his hair.
Katie scoffed. “I’ll have more fear
for him than for Sue. Sue has so much pent up anger toward the man, she could
cause some serious harm.” She hoped she was right. She wanted to stop Sue but
she could see the longing in Sue’s eyes, the pleading. Sue needed to heal and
perhaps Jae could help her. Katie glanced at the exit and wished her friend
well. (End of sample)
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Big Sigh...
It's on Amazon
Second Chance is now available on Amazon.com! If you don't have an ebook reader, you can download Amazon Kindle and/or Barnes and Noble Nook for free on your phone or PC. This will enable you to read electronic books from Barnes and Noble & Amazon.
Smashwords.com offers different reading formats from ePub to .doc. Check them out.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
I like samples...don't you?
Here's more from Second Chance
Chapter 2
Stubborn ass!
Sue bit her tongue to prevent her
thoughts from being spoken out loud. Michael had insisted Sue didn’t need her
own car. He had arrogantly explained that with his instructions, she would
master the New York public transportation system in no time. But that would be
unnecessary because she would get his driver for the duration of her stay in
New York. Sue had protested to no avail.
They were making their way to her hotel and she still
could not get over the shock of this Michael.
Michael McHeney was not what Sue had expected. Katie
had said she would send a picture of Michael but for unexplained reasons, Katie
had forgotten. But even from Katie’s description, Sue hadn’t expected him.
Michael was not white, at least not completely. He was
mixed, half Asian, Sue guessed. He had high cheekbones, a chiseled jaw, thick
black hair, and gray eyes. According to Katie’s description, Michael was dark
and handsome, charming, successful, and single. Handsome? Sue turned to look at
Michael. She adjusted her glasses. Yes, handsome. Charming? Not at the moment.
Successful…?
Sue had failed to think of Michael beyond the fact
that he was a man. Now, she was evaluating him as something more than a man and
in many ways that scared her extremely. She shook her head in disgust at
herself.
“Something wrong?” Michael asked when Sue suddenly
shook her head and slumped into her seat.
“No. Nothing’s wrong. Why do you ask?”
“Just wondering,” Michael replied, giving Sue an
evaluation of his own. He hadn’t expected … her. Cute? He had been so worried
about that and now the word … hmmm … he was still debating whether the word fit
her description. She was nerdy though. Yes, oh yes, she was nerdy all right; he
had been right about that.
Sue wore gray Abercrombie sweat pants with an
oversized maroon University of Minnesota Medical School sweatshirt that came
almost to her knees. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail with swooping
bangs. She wore glasses, not the stylish frames, but black rectangular framed
glasses that seemed to cover most of her face.
He quickly glanced at her again, thinking she was
maybe not cute. She was pretty, yet the sight of her was still shocking. To his
surprise, though, it was shocking in a good way. He smiled, thinking how cute
she was. She looked like a nerdy teenage high school student, especially with
that NorthFace backpack and that darn book. She didn’t look like a doctor,
that’s for sure.
“If you don’t mind me asking—I’m just curious—are you
Chinese?” Michael asked gazing at her, breaking the silence between them. “I
couldn’t tell from your name.”
“No,” Sue answered.
“Japanese?”
“No.”
“Korean?”
“Hmong. I’m Hmong.”
“Mung? Ahhh, like in Gran Torino, that Clint Eastwood movie?”
“Hmong,” Sue corrected. “There’s an H. H-M-O-N-G,” Sue
spelled aloud.
“I see. And where is Ha mong?”
“On the border of China and Mongolia,” Sue answered
dryly.
“Really?” Michael replied, skeptical. “I didn’t
realize there’s another country in there … somewhere.”
“It’s a very small country. Newly emancipated, not
fully recognized.”
“Uh-huh. I’ll have to use Google.”
“You do that.”
Michael grinned.
A moment of awkward silence followed.
“Aren’t you curious about me?” Michael asked.
“Not really. You’re just fine to me,” she silently
added. But, one shouldn’t be rude. Besides, talking was better than the awkward
silence that threatened the cabin of the car again. “Okay, Michael, are you
Chinese, Japanese, Korean, any mixture thereof or from any Southeast Asian
countries I failed to mention?” Sue asked.
Rude, rude,
rude. Why am I being so rude to this stranger?
Michael was watching her with amusement, which Sue
failed to notice because her attention was still on that haunting question she
was asking herself. Grinning, Michael replied, “A hybrid of European and
Korean.”
“Which European exactly?”
Michael shrugged. “A mixture thereof.”
Sue smiled. “A mixture thereof, huh? No elaboration?”
“Does it matter?”
“No.”
“There’s a concert tonight,” Michael said. “Initially
my sister Ada and my brother-in-law were going to take the girls, but something
came up and she asked me to take them. If you’re not too tired, would you like
to join us?”
“I’d love to. Who are the girls?”
“My nieces.”
“How many nieces do you have?”
“Five. You’ll meet the 3 older ones tonight.”
“What are their names?”
“Isabella, Rainy, and Hana. Lily and Alexis are
younger.”
“Nephews?
“Two, Renji and Alec.”
“How many siblings do you have?”
“I have two sisters and a brother. All older,” Michael
answered as he looked outside. “Aren’t you interested in what kind of concert
you will be attending tonight?”
“I was getting to that,” she replied, turning her gaze
to follow Michael’s. “All right, Michael, what type of concert are we attending
tonight?”
“K…” Michael frowned. “K something. Sorry, forgot. Ada
said it’s a Korean artist that apparently the girls are in love with.”
When they arrived at Michael’s townhouse, Sue was
greatly disappointed. She had made reservations at the hotel Katie had reserved
for the wedding party, but neither Katie nor Michael had mentioned anything
about the change in her accommodations.
“Are you stopping for something?” Sue asked when
Michael’s car stopped in front of a picturesque brownstone building.
“No. This is my townhouse,” Michael said as he opened
the car door. “Didn’t Katie tell you? You’ll be staying here.”
“No. No she didn’t,” Sue said, not following him out
of the car. “Michael, thank you but I would rather stay at the hotel.”
“Why? You can stay here for free.”
“I’m not worried about the cost.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“The problem is that I made reservations which I
intend to keep.”
“Your reservation has been cancelled.”
“By whom?” Sue demanded, unable to maintain her
composure.
“By me,” Michael said with a grin. “Now are you coming
or are you going to stay in the car?”
While they had been talking, Michael’s driver had
unloaded her luggage and was already placing them in the townhouse.
“Why did you cancel my reservation without my
consent?” Sue demanded.
Michael shrugged. “Surprise?”
Sue was not laughing.
“Look, if you are worried about the arrangement, rest
assured, you’ll have your privacy. You have this place all to yourself,”
Michael said.
“That’s not the point Mr. McHeney. I would rather stay
in a hotel. I hate to intrude.”
“You’re not intruding by any means.”
“And where will you be staying if I’m staying here?”
she asked.
“I’m staying at my condo.”
“Condo?”
“Yes. A condo is—”
“I know what a condo is! Why do you have two homes in
such close proximity?”
“I stay at the condo when I work late and I stay here
when I don’t. Look. It’s already too late. All the rooms are taken. Besides,
you get more space here. Come on, I’ll give you a tour.”
Sue internally groaned and finally agreed to stay at
the townhouse, primarily because she had had a long flight and was tired. She
had never groaned with so much frustration as she had in the last forty-eight
hours. The next two weeks were going to be long.
Chapter 3
“Sue, this is Lily. Lily, this is Sue.”
“Hi, Lily,” Sue said, extending her hand to shake
Lily’s tiny hand. Lily looked up at her uncle before shyly placing her hand in
Sue’s. Sue gently shook Lily hands with a smile and gave Michael a questioning
look.
Michael told Lily she could get a snack before they
went to the concert. Lily nodded then ran to the kitchen, leaving the adults to
some privacy.
“Surprise,” Michael said, trying to make light of the change.
“I’m sorry. Heidi wanted to go to the concert so we traded. We are still going
to a concert, just, ah, well, Yo Gabba Gabba?”
“Who’s Heidi?”
“My sister, Lily’s mom.”
“Yo Gabba Gabba will be fine,” Sue said, her eyes on
Lily, who had picked Fruit Gushers and was eating her snack neatly at the
island counter. “How old is she?”
“Five.”
“She’s beautiful.”
“Thanks, I’ll tell her mom that.”
They left for the concert but they never saw Yo Gabba
Gabba. Michael’s driver dropped them off at the venue. As they made their way
to their seats, Lily fell, injuring her arm and was taken to the emergency
room.
“Sweetheart, look at me.” Sue cupped Lily’s tiny face
in her hands. She gently turned the child’s face to her. Sue smiled warmly as
she said, “It’s going to be okay. Dr. Christine is going to help make the owie
go away. While she’s doing that, keep your eyes on auntie—can you do that?”
Lily nodded, her eyes still filled with tears.
“Good girl,” Sue said soothingly, wiping Lily’s tears.
“Remember, keep your eyes on auntie.”
X-rays showed a fractured ulna in Lily’s right arm.
Lily needed a cast.
Sue held Lily and caressed her tiny head to her chest,
speaking softly to her. Soon, Lily stopped crying and struggling. She hiccupped
but there were no more tears.
Sue used the stethoscope to distract Lily while her
arm was casted. She placed the ear piece in Lily’s ears then pressed the chest
piece to her own chest. Lily giggled with delight. “Did you hear auntie’s
heartbeat?” Sue asked.
Still grinning, Lily replied, “Uh-huh.”
“Would you like to hear yours?”
Lily nodded, wiping her nose with the back of her
hand. Sue reached for the napkins and gently wiped Lily’s eyes and nose. All
the while, Lily listened to the stethoscope.
Sue pressed the diaphragm chest piece to Lily’s chest
and the little girl listened intently to the rhythmic beating of her tiny
heart. She giggled and her eyes widened as her giggles vibrated through the
hollow tubing to her ears, changing the sound. She took a deep breath and
giggled at the new sound. Lily made different noises and the joy of her newly
discovered toy showed on her pretty face.
Sue looked with longing.
“What about uncle? Does he have beats, too?” Lily
asked Sue.
“Yes,” Sue quietly answered, finally remembering that
Michael was there, too. She raised her head to him and found him watching her.
“Would you like to hear them?”
“Mmm-hmm,” Lily replied.
“Okay, but keep your eyes on auntie, otherwise it
won’t work.”
Lily nodded, wiping her nose with her sleeve.
Sue pressed the chest piece to Michael’s chest and
Lily giggled with joy at hearing her uncle’s heartbeats. Sue smiled at such
innocence. She glanced at Michael briefly and saw that he was smiling from ear
to ear, as if this was his first time hearing heartbeats, too. Sue smiled as
she returned her attention to Lily.
By the time Lily was discharged, they had missed the
concert.
“What about Yo Gabba Gabba?” Lily asked, her eyes
pooling with tears as they waited in the hospital lobby for Michael’s driver to
pick them up.
Michael checked his watch. “Sorry, Lily. We missed
it.”
“Oh no, uncle! What are we going to do?”
“Well, what do you like most about concerts?” Sue
asked Lily. Lily sat between Sue and Michael.
“Music and dancing and treats. Daddy always gets me
treats,” Lily said.
“How about, since you were so brave tonight, Uncle
Michael can get us treats. I hear there is a big candy store with giant candy
bars.”
“And gummy bears?” Lily asked.
“And gummy bears,” Sue answered. “So uncle, can we get
treats?” Sue asked Michael.
Michael pretended to think about it while Lily pleaded
sweetly. He finally consented, giving Sue a wink. Sue grinned.
Sue’s initial reaction to Time Square was “Wow!” There
were a lot of … a lot of things. Lights. People. Cars. Michael carried Lily and
Sue held on to his arm, afraid to let go. Her hold on his arm tightened as they
made their way through a sea of people to get to Hershey’s. The sight of Time
Square was both amazing and overwhelming.
Sue’s eyes widened at the sight of the candy store.
She tilted her head back to look at the lighted brand names of familiar candy
bars she grew up munching on. Upon entering Hershey’s, Sue was bombarded with
the most variety of candies she had ever seen. She was just as excited as Lily,
maybe even more. They sampled candies and Lily picked her gummies. Sue gawked
at the candy bars with delight. “Michael, what’s my budget?”
Michael shrugged, “Whatever you can carry.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
Sue gave him a wily grin. She clasped her hands
together, pondering, enthusiastically looking around the candy store. She felt
like a child and she showed it. She had not felt this excited or this free in
years and the feeling of letting her inner child out of its prison was
exhilarating. She happily placed a kiss on Lily’s cheek before setting off to
explore.
Sue returned to Michael and Lily with a giant
five-pounds Hershey’s chocolate bar. “All set!” she announced.
Michael laughed. Lily giggled.
“How do you intend to eat that thing?” Michael asked,
gesturing toward the chocolate.
“Why, Michael, one bite at a time of course,” she
replied, grinning and proudly displaying the candy bar in her hands.
Michael was still grinning when he paid for their
purchases.
“You may laugh now, Mr. McHeney. Just wait till you
have cravings. You’ll wish you had one of these, too.”
“At least, I’ll know where one is,” Michael replied.
Sue took hold of his arm again as they made their way
back to his waiting car. She saw McKs—the lights—and for a brief moment she
thought of Jae.
“You okay?” Michael asked. Sue had stopped moving and
Michael looked at her with concern.
“Oh … I’m sorry. McKs … it’s soo … big.”
“You hungry? We can grab something from there if you’d
like,” Michael offered, gesturing toward the fast food joint. Sue shook her
head no and took hold of his arm again. They walked in silence the rest of the
way back to Michael’s car. The bright lights, the people … it all became … just
scary to her now. It no longer held excitement and she silently cursed her
stupid mind for straying.
“We could walk around if you’d like,” Michael offered,
seeing her change in mood. She had gone from childish excitement to gloom in
the span of a second.
“It’s all right. Maybe another night,” Sue replied,
placing Lily into her booster seat when they reached his car. Lily offered her
a gummy bear and Sue opened her mouth to receive it. She dramatically ate the
gummy, pretending to savor the delicious bite. Lily giggled. Lily placed
another in Sue’s mouth while Sue finished strapping Lily in her booster. Sue
discovered Michael watching her after she finished the task and wondered how
long he had been doing so. She couldn’t fathom why she blushed. “It was
delicious,” Sue told Michael, thinking her action needed an explanation.
He smiled at her.
Sue sat silently during most of the drive back to
Michael’s townhouse. She listened to the chattering between Michael and Lily on
the proper ways to eat gummy bears. Sue cracked a smile when Lily scolded
Michael for biting off the head first.
High on sugar and youth, Lily was restless with her
new confinement once they returned to the townhouse. To calm her, Sue played
Lily’s favorite songs on the grand piano in the family room. Sue had tried her
best to dance like Yo Gabba Gabba as Lily attempted at a song, but Sue tripped
on her own feet and fell with such drama that Lily laughed. Michael joined Sue
at the dancing and together they made a good duo. At least they thought so, but
dance coordination was not Sue’s strongest talent and she took to the piano
instead.
Sue and Lily tortured Michael as they sang and were
entertained by his clumsiness at:
“If you’re happy
and you know it, wiggle your toes.
If you’re
happy and you know it, wiggle your toes.
If you’re
happy and you know it, if you truly wanna show it, if you’re happy and you know
it…wiggle your toes, touch your nose, stick out your tongue, tap your head,
turn around, flap your arms and say, ooh ooh ahh ahh!”
“Ooh ooh ahh ahh?” Michael frowned as he flapped his
arms. “You think I’m a flying monkey?” The question was directed at Sue.
“If it’s any consolation, you are the best looking
monkey there is.” Sue smiled at him and he smiled back.
Eventually, Lily tired and fell asleep on the chaise
by the fireplace. Sue stopped playing the lullabies and children’s songs. She
looked out the window into a snow-covered backyard. Beyond that was nothing
more than a tall wooden fence. Before she could stop herself, she began to play
Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. She
supposed, at that time, she felt just as lonely as the music she was playing.
Michael joined her at the piano and Sue stopped
playing. “Don’t stop. Please … continue,” Michael encouraged.
“Do you play?”
“Not as well as you.”
“Here. Play something.” Sue scooted over on the bench
and Michael sat next to her.
“Brace yourself for a master-piece,” Michael said. He
laced his fingers together and flexed them before finding his place on the
piano keys. He played Mary Had a Little
Lamb.
Sue laughed. “Master-piece indeed.”
“Told you,” Michael said with a grin. Still grinning,
he artfully changed the keys and smoothly transitioned into Beethoven’s Fur Elise.
Sue quietly listened to Michael played the piano. She
shouldn’t have invited him to play the piano, she thought.
“Thank you,” Michael said.
“For what?”
“For helping with Lily tonight. I would have been less
… calm.”
“You are welcome,” she said.
Michael received a phone call and excused himself to
answer it. Sue returned to the piano, but she could no longer will her fingers
to play a note. She stared at the keys until she heard a cry from Lily and
quickly abandoned the piano. Lily was looking for her mommy and Sue lay down
next to her to soothe her.
Weariness from the day finally caught up with her and
Sue fell asleep on the chaise, next to Lily.
Michael watched Sue sleeping next to his niece. Sue
had not panicked as he had when Lily fell and injured her arm. She had
immediately taken control of the situation, instructing him to call for help
while she calmed Lily.
In the emergency room, while he held onto Lily during
the casting, Sue had distracted Lily and him with that stethoscope. She had
looked at Lily so longingly and so affectionately that Michael couldn’t stop
thinking about her nor had he stopped looking at her since. Gone was the ice
queen he had met at the airport.
There was something about her. The way she smiled. The
way she laughed. So unguarded with his niece, he wished she would do the same
with him. He found himself watching her the whole evening.
What was it about her really? She looked nothing like
Judith; in fact, this woman had turned out to be everything the opposite of
Judith. Judith didn’t want children. Judith never teased him, never ate
chocolate nor found any enjoyment in candy stores. Judith…ah, Judith.
Michael tucked a wisp of Sue’s hair behind her ear and
she stirred. He smiled. Ah, yes, she was nothing like Judith. Judith wouldn’t
be caught dead, sleeping on the couch with a 5-year-old in her arms or wipe the
runny nose of a teary eyed 5-year-old.
The doorbell rang and Michael answered. His sister,
Heidi, was at the door along with his three teenage nieces.
“How did it go with Lily?” Heidi asked.
“We, ah, missed it,” Michael replied. “Shhh, girls,
Lily and Sue are sleeping,” he told his nieces. They were already talking
excitedly when he opened the door. They all lowered their excited voices before
entering the townhouse, unzipping their coats and modeling their new T-shirts.
Heidi frowned.
“There was an accident and we missed it,” he said
closing the door.
“What kind of accident?” Heidi asked, alarmed.
Michael led his nieces and sister to his study where
he recapped the evening in full detail to his sister. Heidi turned pale when
Michael told her of Lily’s injuries and assured her that Lily was fine. Sue had
kept an eye on her all evening and Lily was in great care, he told her. Heidi
went into the living room to get a look at her daughter and the woman her
brother had so fondly spoken about. At
least this woman had a heart, thought Heidi.
Chapter 4
“I thank you for joining me this evening,” Khyba
said into his microphone flashing a breath-taking smile. He wiped his sweaty
forehead with his white muscle shirt, exposing his six pack abs and the
audience cheered. Laughing, he teased the audience by pulling his shirt and
they cheered in response. He danced, tugging at his shirt, exposing a
well-sculpted body. His cargos hugged his hips as he proceeded to rip his shirt
and the audience was deafening. Music played, dancers danced and Khyba moved
perfectly into steps as he tore off his shirt completely and tossed it into the
audience.
The music ended and Khyba stopped dancing. The stage
darkened, the background changed and a soft, acoustic guitar played in the
background. He quickly took a gulp of water from a bottle a stage assistance
handed him, threw on a shirt and positioned himself as a spotlight found him.
“This last song is special to me and I hope you love it as well,” he said. The
audience became silent and he sang in Korean, “I vow to you upon my soul, to
cherish you I would…”
As he sang, his eyes
roamed the crowd. He couldn’t see any of their faces, only the lighted “K” they
held and the reflection of signs they made. Every time he sang the song, every
time he performed, he searched for her.
There was an air of mystery surrounding him. Not so much the man he was
or the man Father thought he ought to be. Maybe it wasn’t mystery so much as it
was curiosity. Yes. It was more curiosity than mystery. But the curiosity was
not about him. It was Khyba and the mysterious beauty who inspired the song he
sang.
His publicists had released an elaborate story of romance involving a
mysterious beauty who had given him his name before she stole his heart.
If only they knew. He never mentioned her name. He had only revealed
that a special girl had come up with the name for him a long time ago. Her name
was too painful to mention, too painful to remember. He had given nothing more.
A special girl indeed.
The last image he had of her was of a puppy-eyed
seductress in a purple dress, crying beneath the weeping branches of a willow
tree. In the brief period he had come to love her, that time was the first and
only time he saw her in a dress. He wished he could have left her smiling,
laughing. But he had told her they didn’t fit
and left her crying.
If he had known how much that image of her would haunt
him, he wouldn’t have done what he did. Had he known he would miss her every
day of his life since, he would have allowed her to explain. Maybe he would
have learned the truth and it would have hurt like hell but at least he
wouldn’t be haunted by the image of her looking at him the way she had done.
Maybe then, he wouldn’t be scanning the faceless audience for the one face that
still haunted him.
It had been eight years and seven months and he still
wondered if she missed him the way he missed her. He wondered if she looked
into the faces of strangers, searching for him. Maybe it was those questions
that led him to look for her, to search for her, only if to learn she was doing
fine and had moved on. Perhaps that knowledge would set him free and he would
be able to move on with his own life. He would be able to return home and face
Sister Jamie and Father, and Sister Mary would forgive him from her grave.
He couldn’t remember the feel of her skin or the scent
of her hair, but he could remember the way she looked when she was mad. “Oh
sa-nap!” she’d say. Or the way she held onto him when he kissed her. “I love
you,” she’d say.
“I vow to you, to love you for eternity…” He closed his eyes and he
could feel her finger tracing the bump on his nose. “I vow to you, to cherish
you…” He could feel her soft lips on his chin. “I pray each night we’ll meet
again, to show you that I’ve kept my vows…” He opened his eyes and stared into
the darkness. “I vow to you … to love you…” (End of Sample)
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