Second Chance is on Diesel!

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The Mistakes I’ve Made

And The Things I've Learned

On my journey to becoming a romance novelist, I’ve made some mistakes along the way, but I’ve also learned a lot. Here are some mistakes that I can clearly remember and some things I’ve learned that hopefully will make my next project less stressful (hopefully yours as well):

1.     Spell check, spell check, spell check! If you are querying, don’t misspell words. If you are rolling your eyes and mentally saying, “duh”, I agree. You will see this advice in books, hear it from agents, publishing houses, everywhere. It’s so obvious; I had to add it here. The very first letter I sent to an agent, I wrote “docter” instead of "doctor" in my email. Oops.

2.     Back to that pesky grammars thing. In my eagerness to publish, I overlooked some things. Though I've spent months editing, there were still errors that are so obvious, I still ask myself how I didn’t spot them. 

3.    Be prepare to read your manuscript until you are so tired of it, you wonder why you stayed up till three in the morning working on something that might not even see the light of publishing. That was where the discouragement came from. That was where some of my frustrations came from. What I learned from this was that when you are ready to publish, whether through the traditional route or through self-publishing, you will have a satisfying manuscript.

4.      If you decide to self-publish, you’ll need a cover. I started with looking for an illustrator and a graphic designer. I searched online, posted my project online, used resources available to me and I ended up spending precious time and money looking for something that some websites like theauthorsredroom.com can offer for a fraction of what a graphic designer will charge all together. Some graphic designers were asking between $300 and $500. After a couple of weeks and $50 already spent on an illustration I couldn’t use without a graphic designer, I found my cover for $80. If you are willing to settle for premade covers, it will be even cheaper. If you can do it yourself, kudos to you. 

5.      Editors. Will you need one? Do you want one? Chances are, you will need one. Most book editors will charge by the word count, i.e. ±$0.075 per word (just throwing a number in here). If you have a full-length manuscript, your manuscript will be more than 50-thousand words. You do the math. So far, the cheapest I've found online is theauthorsredroom.com. They charge by the page instead of by word. And once you have your edited manuscript, it doesn't hurt to read it through again. This was another one of my oops.

6.      Publishing. Be careful. There are several self-publishing outlets and most will charge you money. If you have the funds, you can use services like CreateSpace by Amazon. They can put your whole project together, including making your book available for print-on-demand (POD) with a customize cover for a fee. Do some research and do some comparison. The cheapest package offered me was through Amazon.

      There are great resources at the library as well so check your local libraries for Literary Market Place and such books. If you have some advice for me, please do comment. I'm always searching for ways to make this journey a little less hectic.

   Just a reminder: Second Chance is available as an e-book through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBooks and Smashwords. Check it out.

Second Chance is on Apple iBooks

Second Chance is now available on iBooks! 

I apologize I do not have a link. If interested, you can search for "Second Chance by Ong Xiong" and my book will come up on your iBookstore.

Here's some more from Second Chance:

Chapter 5

Three days had passed since her exciting first day in New York. Michael was picking her up for dinner. They were heading to Shinobu New York and would be meeting Katie and Patrick at the restaurant. After that first day with Michael and Lily, Sue had spent the next 2 days resting, unpacking, spending time with Tony, and exploring the neighborhood. The night before, Michael had stopped by with an array of fruits and crackers. They had made fondue with the giant Hershey’s candy bar and spent the evening at the townhouse. Michael spent time in his office, working. Sue spent time with him in his office, reading.

This morning, Michael had invited her to lunch, but she had declined. She wanted to go to the American Museum of Natural History and didn’t think he was interested. She spent most of her day there, taking her time to explore all their exhibits.

Tonight, she was heading into the heart of the city and was deciding what to wear. “No scrubs. No sweats,” Katie had ordered so the only sweats she packed were the ones she wore during her travel. Looking through her luggage, she picked a knee-length, spaghetti-strapped, royal blue chiffon dress to wear for dinner. She wore her hair down. The last time she had done that was many years ago. She picked a silver bangle, which she slipped onto her left wrist, then decided that the silver-strapped heels would look best with her outfit. It hadn’t snowed and the walk ways were clear so the heels would be safe to wear. Besides, she wanted to wear something nice and heels made her feel … sexy.

Sue threw her head back in laughter when she saw Michael. “We match,” she explained when he looked confused. He wore a white dress shirt, a blue and gray striped tie, dark navy slacks with a matching blazer and shiny loafers. His hair was conservatively cut and combed, making him look like a Tommy Hilfiger model she saw on billboards.

They had reservations but there was a private party being held at the restaurant, and they had to wait for their table. While they waited, they heard other patrons whispering that the restaurant owner/chef Shinobu Matshu was present, personally catering to an important client.

“Who do you think is here for the chef to be in New York?” Michael asked Sue.

“Don’t know,” Sue replied. “Maybe, Ms. O?”

“Ms. O? Hmm, maybe we’ll get to meet her. Are you a fan?”

“Somewhat.”

“Either you are or you aren’t.”

“Well, since I only have two choices, I’ll go with are.”

“Up tight are we?”

“Just hungry,” she replied. “Feed me and I shall be content,” she added with a sweet smile.

“Is that a way to a woman’s heart then? Through her stomach?”

“Why yes, Michael,” Sue replied, bringing her hands to her chest in a mock display of utter surprise. “Feed her food and you will find that a woman can be quite placid and agreeable.”

“I thought a diamond was a way to a woman’s heart and food was a way to a man’s heart? Was I wrong then?”

“A diamond is a woman’s best friend. Food, especially chocolate, is a way to a woman’s heart. Whoever told you that it was only to a man’s heart told you only half the truth, I’m afraid.”

“I see. And you are an expert in this observation?”

“I’m a woman, aren’t I?”

“Somewhat.”

“Either I am or I’m not.”

“Well, since I only have two choices, I’ll pick the safer answer and say am,” Michael replied grinning. “Happy now?”

“Once I’m fed, yes.” She grinned.

“Did I reach your heart with that giant candy bar then?” he teased.

“Straight to the heart…all five pounds worth.”

“What did we miss?” Katie asked as she and Patrick approached the laughing, handsome couple.

“Hey, Mike. Sue.” Patrick waved.

Michael acknowledged the greeting with a nod. “Food is a way to a woman’s heart,” Michael answered Katie with a grin as his gaze reverted back to Sue. Michael gave Sue a conspiring wink. Sue smiled.

“Who told you that?” Katie asked Michael.

“I did,” Sue answered. Patrick grinned as he greeted her with a hug and a kiss on her cheek.

“Ignore her, Michael. Diamonds will get you there faster.” Katie handed Patrick her purse and she took off her coat. “And chocolate,” she added. “Hi hon. Glad to see you out of scrubs.” She hugged Sue.

“Really?” Patrick asked. He turned to Katie. “Is that why you agreed to marry me?”

“Of course. Why sweetheart, when you presented me with this engagement ring, I had to say yes,” Katie answered, holding out her left hand for Sue. “See why I agreed?” On her forefinger was a three-carat, princess cut, canary diamond ring set in platinum.

“Yes, I see,” Sue said. She turned to Michael, “Diamonds are another way to a woman’s heart.” She laughed. “Especially one like this. Although, you know, Patrick, chocolate could have done the job. You didn’t need the ring.”

They were laughing when their waiter approached to announce their table was ready. He showed them to their table and apologized for their wait. He also pointed to a screen and explained that the private party was larger than expected and screens were placed close to their table. He apologized for any inconvenience while he handed them their menus, then took their drink orders.

Everyone ordered sake except for Sue. Sue was seated across from Michael while Katie and Patrick sat across each other.

“So, tell me Sue. You don’t smoke. You don’t drink, and you don’t have casual sex. So… what do you do for fun?” Michael asked, placing his menu on the table.

Patrick and Katie exchanged looks then turned their heads to Sue, waiting for her reaction.

“Well, Michael, first of all I don’t have to smoke or drink to enjoy life,” she replied. “Secondly, how do you know I don’t have casual sex, which,” she said with emphasis, “is none of your business and lastly, I read for fun.”

“Really?” Michael replied, leaning toward her. “And what do you read?” he asked.

“Comics,” she replied in a mater-of-fact tone. Michael laughed.

Katie and Patrick looked at each other again. Grinning, they returned their attention to their menus.

“You’re lying again, aren’t you?” Michael asked Sue.

“Lying? Again?”

“There is no such country called Hmong.”

“I could have told you that.”

“But you told me Hmong was a country between China and Mongolia.”

Sue shrugged. “Had you asked me if Hmong was a country, I’m pretty confident I would have told you the truth.”

“Pretty confident? You suffering from chronic lying?”

“I’m afraid so. T’is an affliction I suffer from since meeting you. Don’t worry though, it’s not contagious.”

“Is there a cure to, ah, this affliction of yours?” Michael asked grinning.

“I’m afraid not.”

“Surely there must be treatments to ease my discomfort?”

“There is actually,” she said smiling sweetly.

“Oh? And what might that be, doctor?”

“Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies,” she quoted, still smiling.

“Touché,” Michael said as he leaned back into his chair. “Touché.”

While this conversation was going on between Sue and Michael, Katie and Patrick watched in amazement. No woman had ever talked to Michael this casually, and Katie was still surprised to find her friend flirting. Although Sue and Michael kept their tone formal and businesslike, as if they were discussing an actual disease, they were smiling and relaxed the whole time. Katie and Patrick exchanged more looks, not that Sue or Michael noticed.

The rest of the evening passed pleasantly with conversations of wedding plans.

“Michael, will you remember me in a week?” Sue asked unceremoniously as they finished their dinner.

“Yes,” he said, sipping his sake.

“Will you remember me in a month?”

“Yes,” he said, placing his sake on the table.

“Will you remember me in a year?”

“Yes,” he said, wondering where she was heading with these questions.

“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?” he answered automatically without thinking.

“So much for remembering me,” Sue said solemnly. Then she burst into laughter at the look of disbelief on Michael’s face. Michael’s lips slowly formed a lazy grin then his shoulders shook with laughter.

Katie laughed and Patrick choked on his sake. Some sake from Katie’s cup splattered onto Sue’s white cardigan and her dress. Katie apologized and handed napkins to Sue at the same time Michael handed his napkin to Sue. Sue automatically took the napkin from Katie. She didn’t notice Michael’s gesture.

“Did you learn that one from your comics?” Michael asked as he retreated his hand.

“Of course,” Sue replied, dabbing the sake from her dress. She was lying. Her niece told her that joke during the holidays. She didn’t read comics either. For some reason, she had just blurted it out. She was turning into a chronic liar like Michael said.

Michael laughed. “What else did you learn from your comics?”

“I did learn some poetry as well. Would you like to hear some?”

“Yes,” Michael said.

“No,” Katie and Patrick said at the same time.

Sue grinned. “I do have to apologize, Michael. I must obey the bride.” Placing the napkin on the table, she leaned toward Michael and shielded her mouth with her hand. “Bridezilla,” she whispered as if that explained it all. Michael laughed and nodded in understanding. Patrick gave Michael a warning look while Sue laughed some more.

“Don’t listen to her Michael,” Katie said grabbing Patrick’s hand from across the table. “Honey, tell him I’m not.”

“She’s not,” Patrick said with a grin.

“Thanks honey,” Katie said.

Still grinning, Sue excused herself to use the ladies room. As soon as she was out of hearing range, Patrick turned to Michael.

“What do you think of her, huh?” Patrick asked.

“She’s stunning. I’ve not met a woman that could make me laugh so much in one day,” Michael replied.

“Michael, don’t pursue her if you’re not serious,” Katie warned. “I don’t want to see her hurt again and if you hurt her you’ll never hear the end of it from me. Got that?”

“Hurt again? What are you talking about?” Michael asked.

“Well, I can’t say. She’ll tell you when she’s ready,” Katie said. “I’m warning you.” She pointed her index finger at Michael. “I only agreed to allow this because I know you’re a great guy so don’t hurt her.”

“Relax, Kate,” Michael said, his gaze upon Sue’s empty seat.

In the short time he had come to know Sue, he was already falling for her. Perhaps it was her cuteness. Maybe it was the way she was toward him—honest and true. No false laughter. No false pretenses. She didn’t even want his attention. In fact she had made no attempt to capture his attention. If anything, she was trying to avoid him. She loved children and he knew if she were to love him, she would with a fierceness that would match his. He wanted that kind of love. That unconditional love.

Michael stared at Sue’s empty seat, thinking that if Sue didn’t come back soon, he would go after her.

Chapter 6

Behind the screen, Khyba’s drink arrested partway to his lips at the sound of a woman’s laughter. He glanced at his drink, thinking he must have had more to drink than he thought. He walked to the screen. “Yes, I see,” the voice said. “Especially one like this. Although, you know Patrick, chocolate could have…” His eyes followed the sound of her voice and when his eyes caught sight of the beauty whose voice summoned him, he smiled.

He called for a waiter and asked a table be cleared for the four waiting individuals by the door. His eyes followed her to her seat and stayed on her.

“Going to join your own celebration, Hyung?” Jackie asked. “Something more interesting caught your attention?”

No response from Khyba.

“What’s so amusing?” Jackie asked when Khyba laughed. In the time he had known Khyba, he had never heard him laugh like this. Curious, he followed Khyba’s gaze. He looked back at Khyba with amusement then back at the image Khyba was so intently focused on.

Jackie had known Khyba since the beginning of his career when he was assigned to oversee Khyba’s singing lessons. The guy could dance, but his singing needed development at the time. Soon, Khyba became lead singer of Eastern Tides and the group soared to popularity. Four years ago, Khyba went solo and Jackie followed. Since then, he had never seen Khyba pay this much attention to any female.

Watching Khyba pay this much attention to any woman could only mean that he had found her.

“Sorry Jack, change of plans,” Khyba said, handing his long forgotten drink to Jackie without averting his eyes. He was afraid she would disappear. “Instruct Ty to prepare the limo.”

Stunned, Jackie watched as Khyba approached the beautiful woman in a blue dress.

“Ahn-nyung (Hi) Shorty.”

Sue’s body stiffened and her heart began to race. Was she hallucinating? She must be. He was from another lifetime, from somewhere on the other side of the planet. No, it can’t be, she thought as she continued walking toward the bathroom.

“It’s been a long time, Suzy.”

Sue whirled around so quickly she almost lost her balance. Her eyes widened in surprise, recognizing that bump on his nose, those brown eyes, and those lips. “Jae?”

“The one and only,” he replied, still grinning. “How are you, Suzy?”

Sue didn’t reply.

“Looks like you haven’t grown an inch since the last time we met,” he said.

Silence.

He had anticipated her to be surprised, maybe even angry. He even hoped she would be happy to see him. But he hadn’t expected what happened next.

Jae watched the play of emotions in Sue’s glistening brown eyes. Then, without saying another word to him, she raised her hand. Thinking she was going to embrace him, he took a step forward just as her hand made contact, slapping him across his face. She silently turned and walked away.

Sue walked to the bathroom as calmly as she could, restraining the urge to break into a run. She didn’t think she would ever see that man again. The world with him was far away, in another lifetime she would rather forget. She hated him. He was grinning wily, that grin that had haunted her for so long and all she wanted was to run into his arms. She wanted to hurt him, too. In the spur of the moment, she decided he deserved the latter.

She was still trembling when she reached the women’s bathroom. Once safely inside, she collapsed against the door.

Oh God, I slapped him.

She fought the knot in her throat.

Oh God, I slapped him.

She went to the sink and looked into the mirror. An uncertain reflection stared back at her. Her hands were shaking and she clenched them tightly together to stop the tremor. She took a deep breath, counted to 10 then stared back at her reflection. Not satisfied with the expression staring back at her, she took several more deep breaths, then prayed he would disappear when she left the bathroom. She must leave.

“Sorry I took so long,” Sue announced when she returned to the table. Her party was ready to leave. “Something came up and I’m afraid I must call it a night.” She gave Katie an apologetic look. “Enjoy yourselves and I’ll see you tomorrow evening.” She turned to Michael and gave him a polite smile. “Thank you for the ride this evening. Good night,” she said as quickly as she could before he could protest. She muttered something about grabbing a taxi and for him to not worry.

Before she could turn to walk away, Michael caught hold of her elbow. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m just not feeling well. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she replied, trying to free her arm. He wouldn’t let go. Instead he gently pulled her toward him. Something had happened to scare her.

“Tell me. What’s wrong? You were just fine moments ago…”

“Please unhand her,” Jae said, his voice low but threatening.

Michael felt Sue stiffen at the sound of Jae’s voice. He turned to look at Jae then back at Sue. “Did he hurt you?” he asked as he nodded toward Jae.

“No,” she answered. Don’t make a scene. Don’t make a scene.

“Michael, this is Jae,” Sue said as she turned to look at Jae. “Jae, this is Michael.” She smiled as if nothing happened.

Michael slowly released her arm but still stood by her protectively. Sue backed away from Michael, bumping into the table. Remembering Katie and Patrick, she turned to them and smiled. “Katie, Patrick, this is Jae. Jae, I would like you to meet my best friend Katie King and her fiancé Patrick Jacobson.”

Jae nodded to acknowledge the introduction. He wondered why she chose not to introduce his relation to her. He acknowledged her friends then turned his full attention to her. “Will you join me tonight?”

“I’m afraid I can’t,” she politely replied with a smile. “I was just saying goodnight.” She turned to her friends. “Goodnight everyone.” She turned to Katie, silently communicating she needed to leave. Katie nodded in understanding.

She walked out of the restaurant so quickly she forgot her coat and purse.

 “I apologize for interrupting your evening. Do not fret. I will be taking her home,” Jae said courteously and gave a slight bow to mark his departure.

Michael was about to go after them but Katie stopped him. “Let her go. She’ll be fine.”

Michael scowled. “Do not fret? Who’s the schmuck?” Michael asked Katie. “Now’s the time to talk, Kate.”

“Calm down, Mike. There’s no need to use that tone with Katie,” Patrick commanded sternly.

Katie sighed and told Michael the relationship between Sue and Jae. Katie did not go into detail, only enough to explain Sue’s reaction to Jae.

“The man could be a psycho and we just let her go…with him?” He ran a hand through his hair.

Katie scoffed. “I’ll have more fear for him than for Sue. Sue has so much pent up anger toward the man, she could cause some serious harm.” She hoped she was right. She wanted to stop Sue but she could see the longing in Sue’s eyes, the pleading. Sue needed to heal and perhaps Jae could help her. Katie glanced at the exit and wished her friend well. (End of sample)

Big Sigh...

Big Smiles...

Taken by Aime DeWitt

 

A huge THANK YOU to all who have purchased Second Chance so far...now I am nervous. Very nervous. 

It's on Amazon

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I like samples...don't you?

Here's more from Second Chance

Chapter 2

Stubborn ass! Sue bit her tongue to prevent her thoughts from being spoken out loud. Michael had insisted Sue didn’t need her own car. He had arrogantly explained that with his instructions, she would master the New York public transportation system in no time. But that would be unnecessary because she would get his driver for the duration of her stay in New York. Sue had protested to no avail.

They were making their way to her hotel and she still could not get over the shock of this Michael.

Michael McHeney was not what Sue had expected. Katie had said she would send a picture of Michael but for unexplained reasons, Katie had forgotten. But even from Katie’s description, Sue hadn’t expected him.

Michael was not white, at least not completely. He was mixed, half Asian, Sue guessed. He had high cheekbones, a chiseled jaw, thick black hair, and gray eyes. According to Katie’s description, Michael was dark and handsome, charming, successful, and single. Handsome? Sue turned to look at Michael. She adjusted her glasses. Yes, handsome. Charming? Not at the moment. Successful…?

Sue had failed to think of Michael beyond the fact that he was a man. Now, she was evaluating him as something more than a man and in many ways that scared her extremely. She shook her head in disgust at herself.

“Something wrong?” Michael asked when Sue suddenly shook her head and slumped into her seat.

“No. Nothing’s wrong. Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering,” Michael replied, giving Sue an evaluation of his own. He hadn’t expected … her. Cute? He had been so worried about that and now the word … hmmm … he was still debating whether the word fit her description. She was nerdy though. Yes, oh yes, she was nerdy all right; he had been right about that.

Sue wore gray Abercrombie sweat pants with an oversized maroon University of Minnesota Medical School sweatshirt that came almost to her knees. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail with swooping bangs. She wore glasses, not the stylish frames, but black rectangular framed glasses that seemed to cover most of her face.

He quickly glanced at her again, thinking she was maybe not cute. She was pretty, yet the sight of her was still shocking. To his surprise, though, it was shocking in a good way. He smiled, thinking how cute she was. She looked like a nerdy teenage high school student, especially with that NorthFace backpack and that darn book. She didn’t look like a doctor, that’s for sure.

“If you don’t mind me asking—I’m just curious—are you Chinese?” Michael asked gazing at her, breaking the silence between them. “I couldn’t tell from your name.”

“No,” Sue answered.

“Japanese?”

“No.”

“Korean?”

“Hmong. I’m Hmong.”

“Mung? Ahhh, like in Gran Torino, that Clint Eastwood movie?”

“Hmong,” Sue corrected. “There’s an H. H-M-O-N-G,” Sue spelled aloud.

“I see. And where is Ha mong?”

“On the border of China and Mongolia,” Sue answered dryly.

“Really?” Michael replied, skeptical. “I didn’t realize there’s another country in there … somewhere.”

“It’s a very small country. Newly emancipated, not fully recognized.”

“Uh-huh. I’ll have to use Google.”

“You do that.”

Michael grinned.

A moment of awkward silence followed.

“Aren’t you curious about me?” Michael asked.

“Not really. You’re just fine to me,” she silently added. But, one shouldn’t be rude. Besides, talking was better than the awkward silence that threatened the cabin of the car again. “Okay, Michael, are you Chinese, Japanese, Korean, any mixture thereof or from any Southeast Asian countries I failed to mention?” Sue asked.

Rude, rude, rude. Why am I being so rude to this stranger?

Michael was watching her with amusement, which Sue failed to notice because her attention was still on that haunting question she was asking herself. Grinning, Michael replied, “A hybrid of European and Korean.”

“Which European exactly?”

Michael shrugged. “A mixture thereof.”

Sue smiled. “A mixture thereof, huh? No elaboration?”

“Does it matter?”

“No.”

“There’s a concert tonight,” Michael said. “Initially my sister Ada and my brother-in-law were going to take the girls, but something came up and she asked me to take them. If you’re not too tired, would you like to join us?”

“I’d love to. Who are the girls?”

“My nieces.”

“How many nieces do you have?”

“Five. You’ll meet the 3 older ones tonight.”

“What are their names?”

“Isabella, Rainy, and Hana. Lily and Alexis are younger.”

“Nephews?

“Two, Renji and Alec.”

“How many siblings do you have?”

“I have two sisters and a brother. All older,” Michael answered as he looked outside. “Aren’t you interested in what kind of concert you will be attending tonight?”

“I was getting to that,” she replied, turning her gaze to follow Michael’s. “All right, Michael, what type of concert are we attending tonight?”

“K…” Michael frowned. “K something. Sorry, forgot. Ada said it’s a Korean artist that apparently the girls are in love with.”

When they arrived at Michael’s townhouse, Sue was greatly disappointed. She had made reservations at the hotel Katie had reserved for the wedding party, but neither Katie nor Michael had mentioned anything about the change in her accommodations.

“Are you stopping for something?” Sue asked when Michael’s car stopped in front of a picturesque brownstone building. 

“No. This is my townhouse,” Michael said as he opened the car door. “Didn’t Katie tell you? You’ll be staying here.”

“No. No she didn’t,” Sue said, not following him out of the car. “Michael, thank you but I would rather stay at the hotel.”

“Why? You can stay here for free.”

“I’m not worried about the cost.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“The problem is that I made reservations which I intend to keep.”

“Your reservation has been cancelled.”

“By whom?” Sue demanded, unable to maintain her composure.

“By me,” Michael said with a grin. “Now are you coming or are you going to stay in the car?”

While they had been talking, Michael’s driver had unloaded her luggage and was already placing them in the townhouse.

“Why did you cancel my reservation without my consent?” Sue demanded.

Michael shrugged. “Surprise?”

Sue was not laughing.

“Look, if you are worried about the arrangement, rest assured, you’ll have your privacy. You have this place all to yourself,” Michael said.

“That’s not the point Mr. McHeney. I would rather stay in a hotel. I hate to intrude.”

“You’re not intruding by any means.”

“And where will you be staying if I’m staying here?” she asked.

“I’m staying at my condo.”

“Condo?”

“Yes. A condo is—”

“I know what a condo is! Why do you have two homes in such close proximity?”

“I stay at the condo when I work late and I stay here when I don’t. Look. It’s already too late. All the rooms are taken. Besides, you get more space here. Come on, I’ll give you a tour.”

Sue internally groaned and finally agreed to stay at the townhouse, primarily because she had had a long flight and was tired. She had never groaned with so much frustration as she had in the last forty-eight hours. The next two weeks were going to be long.

Chapter 3

“Sue, this is Lily. Lily, this is Sue.”

“Hi, Lily,” Sue said, extending her hand to shake Lily’s tiny hand. Lily looked up at her uncle before shyly placing her hand in Sue’s. Sue gently shook Lily hands with a smile and gave Michael a questioning look.

Michael told Lily she could get a snack before they went to the concert. Lily nodded then ran to the kitchen, leaving the adults to some privacy.

“Surprise,” Michael said, trying to make light of the change. “I’m sorry. Heidi wanted to go to the concert so we traded. We are still going to a concert, just, ah, well, Yo Gabba Gabba?”

“Who’s Heidi?”

“My sister, Lily’s mom.”

“Yo Gabba Gabba will be fine,” Sue said, her eyes on Lily, who had picked Fruit Gushers and was eating her snack neatly at the island counter. “How old is she?”

“Five.”

“She’s beautiful.”

“Thanks, I’ll tell her mom that.”

They left for the concert but they never saw Yo Gabba Gabba. Michael’s driver dropped them off at the venue. As they made their way to their seats, Lily fell, injuring her arm and was taken to the emergency room.

“Sweetheart, look at me.” Sue cupped Lily’s tiny face in her hands. She gently turned the child’s face to her. Sue smiled warmly as she said, “It’s going to be okay. Dr. Christine is going to help make the owie go away. While she’s doing that, keep your eyes on auntie—can you do that?”

Lily nodded, her eyes still filled with tears.

“Good girl,” Sue said soothingly, wiping Lily’s tears. “Remember, keep your eyes on auntie.”

X-rays showed a fractured ulna in Lily’s right arm. Lily needed a cast.

Sue held Lily and caressed her tiny head to her chest, speaking softly to her. Soon, Lily stopped crying and struggling. She hiccupped but there were no more tears.

Sue used the stethoscope to distract Lily while her arm was casted. She placed the ear piece in Lily’s ears then pressed the chest piece to her own chest. Lily giggled with delight. “Did you hear auntie’s heartbeat?” Sue asked.

Still grinning, Lily replied, “Uh-huh.”

“Would you like to hear yours?”

Lily nodded, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. Sue reached for the napkins and gently wiped Lily’s eyes and nose. All the while, Lily listened to the stethoscope.

Sue pressed the diaphragm chest piece to Lily’s chest and the little girl listened intently to the rhythmic beating of her tiny heart. She giggled and her eyes widened as her giggles vibrated through the hollow tubing to her ears, changing the sound. She took a deep breath and giggled at the new sound. Lily made different noises and the joy of her newly discovered toy showed on her pretty face.

Sue looked with longing.

“What about uncle? Does he have beats, too?” Lily asked Sue.

“Yes,” Sue quietly answered, finally remembering that Michael was there, too. She raised her head to him and found him watching her. “Would you like to hear them?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Lily replied.

“Okay, but keep your eyes on auntie, otherwise it won’t work.”

Lily nodded, wiping her nose with her sleeve.

Sue pressed the chest piece to Michael’s chest and Lily giggled with joy at hearing her uncle’s heartbeats. Sue smiled at such innocence. She glanced at Michael briefly and saw that he was smiling from ear to ear, as if this was his first time hearing heartbeats, too. Sue smiled as she returned her attention to Lily.

By the time Lily was discharged, they had missed the concert.

“What about Yo Gabba Gabba?” Lily asked, her eyes pooling with tears as they waited in the hospital lobby for Michael’s driver to pick them up.

Michael checked his watch. “Sorry, Lily. We missed it.”

“Oh no, uncle! What are we going to do?”

“Well, what do you like most about concerts?” Sue asked Lily. Lily sat between Sue and Michael.

“Music and dancing and treats. Daddy always gets me treats,” Lily said.

“How about, since you were so brave tonight, Uncle Michael can get us treats. I hear there is a big candy store with giant candy bars.”

“And gummy bears?” Lily asked.

“And gummy bears,” Sue answered. “So uncle, can we get treats?” Sue asked Michael.

Michael pretended to think about it while Lily pleaded sweetly. He finally consented, giving Sue a wink. Sue grinned.

Sue’s initial reaction to Time Square was “Wow!” There were a lot of … a lot of things. Lights. People. Cars. Michael carried Lily and Sue held on to his arm, afraid to let go. Her hold on his arm tightened as they made their way through a sea of people to get to Hershey’s. The sight of Time Square was both amazing and overwhelming.

Sue’s eyes widened at the sight of the candy store. She tilted her head back to look at the lighted brand names of familiar candy bars she grew up munching on. Upon entering Hershey’s, Sue was bombarded with the most variety of candies she had ever seen. She was just as excited as Lily, maybe even more. They sampled candies and Lily picked her gummies. Sue gawked at the candy bars with delight. “Michael, what’s my budget?”

Michael shrugged, “Whatever you can carry.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

Sue gave him a wily grin. She clasped her hands together, pondering, enthusiastically looking around the candy store. She felt like a child and she showed it. She had not felt this excited or this free in years and the feeling of letting her inner child out of its prison was exhilarating. She happily placed a kiss on Lily’s cheek before setting off to explore.

Sue returned to Michael and Lily with a giant five-pounds Hershey’s chocolate bar. “All set!” she announced.

Michael laughed. Lily giggled.

“How do you intend to eat that thing?” Michael asked, gesturing toward the chocolate.

“Why, Michael, one bite at a time of course,” she replied, grinning and proudly displaying the candy bar in her hands.

Michael was still grinning when he paid for their purchases.

“You may laugh now, Mr. McHeney. Just wait till you have cravings. You’ll wish you had one of these, too.”

“At least, I’ll know where one is,” Michael replied.

Sue took hold of his arm again as they made their way back to his waiting car. She saw McKs—the lights—and for a brief moment she thought of Jae.

“You okay?” Michael asked. Sue had stopped moving and Michael looked at her with concern.

“Oh … I’m sorry. McKs … it’s soo … big.”

“You hungry? We can grab something from there if you’d like,” Michael offered, gesturing toward the fast food joint. Sue shook her head no and took hold of his arm again. They walked in silence the rest of the way back to Michael’s car. The bright lights, the people … it all became … just scary to her now. It no longer held excitement and she silently cursed her stupid mind for straying.

“We could walk around if you’d like,” Michael offered, seeing her change in mood. She had gone from childish excitement to gloom in the span of a second.

“It’s all right. Maybe another night,” Sue replied, placing Lily into her booster seat when they reached his car. Lily offered her a gummy bear and Sue opened her mouth to receive it. She dramatically ate the gummy, pretending to savor the delicious bite. Lily giggled. Lily placed another in Sue’s mouth while Sue finished strapping Lily in her booster. Sue discovered Michael watching her after she finished the task and wondered how long he had been doing so. She couldn’t fathom why she blushed. “It was delicious,” Sue told Michael, thinking her action needed an explanation.

He smiled at her.

Sue sat silently during most of the drive back to Michael’s townhouse. She listened to the chattering between Michael and Lily on the proper ways to eat gummy bears. Sue cracked a smile when Lily scolded Michael for biting off the head first.

High on sugar and youth, Lily was restless with her new confinement once they returned to the townhouse. To calm her, Sue played Lily’s favorite songs on the grand piano in the family room. Sue had tried her best to dance like Yo Gabba Gabba as Lily attempted at a song, but Sue tripped on her own feet and fell with such drama that Lily laughed. Michael joined Sue at the dancing and together they made a good duo. At least they thought so, but dance coordination was not Sue’s strongest talent and she took to the piano instead.

Sue and Lily tortured Michael as they sang and were entertained by his clumsiness at:

“If you’re happy and you know it, wiggle your toes.

If you’re happy and you know it, wiggle your toes.

If you’re happy and you know it, if you truly wanna show it, if you’re happy and you know it…wiggle your toes, touch your nose, stick out your tongue, tap your head, turn around, flap your arms and say, ooh ooh ahh ahh!”

“Ooh ooh ahh ahh?” Michael frowned as he flapped his arms. “You think I’m a flying monkey?” The question was directed at Sue.

“If it’s any consolation, you are the best looking monkey there is.” Sue smiled at him and he smiled back.

Eventually, Lily tired and fell asleep on the chaise by the fireplace. Sue stopped playing the lullabies and children’s songs. She looked out the window into a snow-covered backyard. Beyond that was nothing more than a tall wooden fence. Before she could stop herself, she began to play Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. She supposed, at that time, she felt just as lonely as the music she was playing.

Michael joined her at the piano and Sue stopped playing. “Don’t stop. Please … continue,” Michael encouraged.

“Do you play?”

“Not as well as you.”

“Here. Play something.” Sue scooted over on the bench and Michael sat next to her.

“Brace yourself for a master-piece,” Michael said. He laced his fingers together and flexed them before finding his place on the piano keys. He played Mary Had a Little Lamb.

Sue laughed. “Master-piece indeed.”

“Told you,” Michael said with a grin. Still grinning, he artfully changed the keys and smoothly transitioned into Beethoven’s Fur Elise.

Sue quietly listened to Michael played the piano. She shouldn’t have invited him to play the piano, she thought.

“Thank you,” Michael said.

“For what?”

“For helping with Lily tonight. I would have been less … calm.”

“You are welcome,” she said.

Michael received a phone call and excused himself to answer it. Sue returned to the piano, but she could no longer will her fingers to play a note. She stared at the keys until she heard a cry from Lily and quickly abandoned the piano. Lily was looking for her mommy and Sue lay down next to her to soothe her. 

Weariness from the day finally caught up with her and Sue fell asleep on the chaise, next to Lily.

Michael watched Sue sleeping next to his niece. Sue had not panicked as he had when Lily fell and injured her arm. She had immediately taken control of the situation, instructing him to call for help while she calmed Lily.  

In the emergency room, while he held onto Lily during the casting, Sue had distracted Lily and him with that stethoscope. She had looked at Lily so longingly and so affectionately that Michael couldn’t stop thinking about her nor had he stopped looking at her since. Gone was the ice queen he had met at the airport.

There was something about her. The way she smiled. The way she laughed. So unguarded with his niece, he wished she would do the same with him. He found himself watching her the whole evening.

What was it about her really? She looked nothing like Judith; in fact, this woman had turned out to be everything the opposite of Judith. Judith didn’t want children. Judith never teased him, never ate chocolate nor found any enjoyment in candy stores. Judith…ah, Judith.

Michael tucked a wisp of Sue’s hair behind her ear and she stirred. He smiled. Ah, yes, she was nothing like Judith. Judith wouldn’t be caught dead, sleeping on the couch with a 5-year-old in her arms or wipe the runny nose of a teary eyed 5-year-old.

The doorbell rang and Michael answered. His sister, Heidi, was at the door along with his three teenage nieces.

“How did it go with Lily?” Heidi asked.

“We, ah, missed it,” Michael replied. “Shhh, girls, Lily and Sue are sleeping,” he told his nieces. They were already talking excitedly when he opened the door. They all lowered their excited voices before entering the townhouse, unzipping their coats and modeling their new T-shirts.

Heidi frowned.

“There was an accident and we missed it,” he said closing the door.

“What kind of accident?” Heidi asked, alarmed.

Michael led his nieces and sister to his study where he recapped the evening in full detail to his sister. Heidi turned pale when Michael told her of Lily’s injuries and assured her that Lily was fine. Sue had kept an eye on her all evening and Lily was in great care, he told her. Heidi went into the living room to get a look at her daughter and the woman her brother had so fondly spoken about. At least this woman had a heart, thought Heidi.

Chapter 4

             “I thank you for joining me this evening,” Khyba said into his microphone flashing a breath-taking smile. He wiped his sweaty forehead with his white muscle shirt, exposing his six pack abs and the audience cheered. Laughing, he teased the audience by pulling his shirt and they cheered in response. He danced, tugging at his shirt, exposing a well-sculpted body. His cargos hugged his hips as he proceeded to rip his shirt and the audience was deafening. Music played, dancers danced and Khyba moved perfectly into steps as he tore off his shirt completely and tossed it into the audience.

The music ended and Khyba stopped dancing. The stage darkened, the background changed and a soft, acoustic guitar played in the background. He quickly took a gulp of water from a bottle a stage assistance handed him, threw on a shirt and positioned himself as a spotlight found him. “This last song is special to me and I hope you love it as well,” he said. The audience became silent and he sang in Korean, “I vow to you upon my soul, to cherish you I would…”

            As he sang, his eyes roamed the crowd. He couldn’t see any of their faces, only the lighted “K” they held and the reflection of signs they made. Every time he sang the song, every time he performed, he searched for her.

There was an air of mystery surrounding him. Not so much the man he was or the man Father thought he ought to be. Maybe it wasn’t mystery so much as it was curiosity. Yes. It was more curiosity than mystery. But the curiosity was not about him. It was Khyba and the mysterious beauty who inspired the song he sang.

His publicists had released an elaborate story of romance involving a mysterious beauty who had given him his name before she stole his heart.

If only they knew. He never mentioned her name. He had only revealed that a special girl had come up with the name for him a long time ago. Her name was too painful to mention, too painful to remember. He had given nothing more.

A special girl indeed.

The last image he had of her was of a puppy-eyed seductress in a purple dress, crying beneath the weeping branches of a willow tree. In the brief period he had come to love her, that time was the first and only time he saw her in a dress. He wished he could have left her smiling, laughing. But he had told her they didn’t fit and left her crying.

If he had known how much that image of her would haunt him, he wouldn’t have done what he did. Had he known he would miss her every day of his life since, he would have allowed her to explain. Maybe he would have learned the truth and it would have hurt like hell but at least he wouldn’t be haunted by the image of her looking at him the way she had done. Maybe then, he wouldn’t be scanning the faceless audience for the one face that still haunted him.

It had been eight years and seven months and he still wondered if she missed him the way he missed her. He wondered if she looked into the faces of strangers, searching for him. Maybe it was those questions that led him to look for her, to search for her, only if to learn she was doing fine and had moved on. Perhaps that knowledge would set him free and he would be able to move on with his own life. He would be able to return home and face Sister Jamie and Father, and Sister Mary would forgive him from her grave.

He couldn’t remember the feel of her skin or the scent of her hair, but he could remember the way she looked when she was mad. “Oh sa-nap!” she’d say. Or the way she held onto him when he kissed her. “I love you,” she’d say.

“I vow to you, to love you for eternity…” He closed his eyes and he could feel her finger tracing the bump on his nose. “I vow to you, to cherish you…” He could feel her soft lips on his chin. “I pray each night we’ll meet again, to show you that I’ve kept my vows…” He opened his eyes and stared into the darkness. “I vow to you … to love you…” (End of Sample)

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